What I Am Lovin'...

Scrubs...I have always watched this in a very touch and go way. For Tim's birthday, he received season one. We've watched several episodes in a row and I have to say that it is one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time. I wish I had this sort of cleverness in my daily life. AHHH...24 episodes. Life is good.

IKEA...How can things be this cute and be this cheap too? I refuse to pay $100 for a floorlamp. Refuse.

Eggshell Blue and Brown...I don't usually fall for the trendy trends, but I really dig this color combo. It is completely opposite than what I have in my house, but I have a plan. I want my bedroom in these colors and I want my bathroom in this color.

Fantasizing About a New Hair Color...I want to get highlights. I am waiting until I go to Iowa where my ever-stylin' pal, Jodi, is going to set me up with 'her girl'.

Bloggers...aren't we great?! Really! A long lost North Dakotan friend has started a blog and I can't wait to check out her little corner of the WWW. I wish all my chums blogged so I could stop wondering what they are up to.

Lime...all things lime. Limeaid. Lime candles. Lime colored shirts. Drinks with Limes on the edge of the glass.

Bad Behavior

Today is the last day of my week without Tim. He has been in Iowa for the week preparing his summer research, but will return to me tomorrow.

Now, I eat a lot of unhealthy foods when he is here, but my unhealthy eating habits change when he is gone. Yes, they are still unhealthy, but in a way that I get very few vitamins or anything else good for me. At least when he is here, we might go for a few slices of pizza and I might get some protein from the cheese or go for a cheesesteak and eat some meat. But, when he is away, I eat a lot of the following foods...

Bagels and Cream Cheese. I eat a lot of it. Breakfast, lunch, midafternoon snack.

Iced Coffees. This comes for boredom. I get restless and want to go somewhere, but I don't want to go anywhere that requires me to buy anything more than two dollars.

I have a feeling that he is eating just as poorly as myself. Our sublet is in campustown across from the university and it is a junk food paradise. I am a little nervous that I will have a DQ within walking distance for a month and a half. Oh, by the way...I am going to Iowa for a month and a half with Tim this summer. You can look forward to lots of posts since I plan on having a great summer.

Yes, Things That Suck

I have heard through the blogging grapevine that the Midwestern Position has become a hot bed of cynicism. I don't know where these people hang out but I am thinking it is just right of reality. And who cares if I want to be negative? Can't I be negative once in awhile? I think if I had to put a percentage on it, I am positive about 95% of the time and I can rant like the best of them the other 5%. Thank goodness I have friends like JZ who encourage my inner bitch. There is something completely cleansing when she calls and we go to town on some topic, complaining about whatever we wanted to complain about.

So, this topic is in tribute and partially authored by JZ as we chatted online and discussed the more general subject of Things That Suck.

1. Middle aged dudes that drive sports cars and "pull over" in the right lane when they are still in the right lane blocking all traffic behind him to talk on his cell phone that he barely knows how to use. That is what parking lots are for, Dude.

2. Diluted/syrupy fountain sodas. What a great disappointment for a thirsty soul.

3. People who have to have the last word and the final dig.

4. Well-deserved sunburns. Does the grosser than gross pealing ever stop. I am like a monster from some horror movie.

5. When your beloved digital camera is in the shop and you'd like nothing better than to take some sweet photos and post them on the blog.

6. When you walk by a window and catch a glimpse of yourself and think, "UGH. I look chubby today."

7. When you have been a dedicated and obsessive reader/watcher of a series of books/television series and it comes to an end. You covet what people have who have just started their Harry Potter journey or Six Feet Under journey.

8. When you say something important....something with meaning and no one responds.

9. Awkward hair stages. I deserve some sort of medal and it better be worth it. I have come to a realization that I will have to go and get my hair colored in some way. When my hair is short the dirty blonde look is acceptable, but the longer it gets, the drabber it gets.

10. Mystery bruises. I looked down on my hand and there is this huge, purple knob on my middle knuckle. Did I beat someone with the knucks?

Feel free to add to this list. There is no shame in the negative. It has really gotten a bad rap if you ask me and if you've got a problem with it....go start your own blog. So there.

Doughnut Mean Something

Every once in awhile, a blogger has to dig deep into her psyche to produce what might be considered her deepest and most revealing piece of writing. This is no exception.

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you. But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft. You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily. You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

Yortuk's Foxy Lady

I am a disciple of the church of Saturday Night Live and there are several prophets that have shown their comedic miracles on that show. It would never cross my mind that I might be able to meet any of the Not Ready For Prime Time Players/Prophets, let alone...one of the originals! Yet, I will stand in line with many others as they listen to Dan Akroyd at our local Borders as he discusses a new book and have him sign a DVD just for me! So, in honor of this special occasion, I thought I would share my TOP DAN AKROYD MOMENTS.

Yortuk Festrunk and Georg Festrunk-I love this skit on SNL. It never gets old. They are so awkward and dead on chauvinistic with their "Sexy American Foxes" and "protruding buttocks". It has been my dream to dress up as Yortuk and Georg, the Two Wild and Crazy Guys for Halloween because I just can't get over their fantastic leisure suits. So funny!

Roman Craig in The Great Outdoors-There is something very familiar about this obnoxious and pompous character that hijacks John Candy's family vacation. Everytime I mention this movie, everyone always says, "Oh my god. I love that movie." How can you not? Now that I am an adult I find humor in a lot of the dirty jokes that I missed as a child. Back then, I just thought it was funny that John Candy ate that whole steak.

Beldar Conehead-The movie or the skit on SNL. Both very funny to me.

Dr. Raymond "Ray" Stantz in Ghostbusters-This is a direct connection with tomorrow night's reading since he has written a book on UFOs...why? I don't know, but he was an expert on paranormal history and metallurgy. You may not know this, but Dan Akroyd wrote this awesome movie along Harold Ramis.

I know I missed some, but feel free to share the Akroyd love.

Philly Phun

As part of the on-going process of falling in love with my new city of Philadelphia, I explored three new places and events this weekend. I wrote about the Cuban restaurant earlier this week, but let me expand with the details that I assume you are all dying to know. Courtney and I took the train downtown to have dinner at Alma de Cuba.

It has been so long since I have been to a really good restaurant that I think I might have been overly impressed with the place. Don't get me wrong, it was great. The atmosphere was beautiful with their cream covered chairs and red accent candle lighting. The server explained that Cuban food was not spicy but rather flavorful. Either way, I knew I would like it. I had a strip steak served on rice and black beans. With a recommendation from my friend Amy, we order Sweet Fried Plantains. Very much like bananas, they were a sweet addition to our meal. A person couldn't go to a Cuban restaurant without enjoying a delicious Mojito.

Along with our trip to Alma de Cuba, we went to Manayunk to Derek's. We both enjoyed what might be my second favorite drink, the Key Lime Martini. The rim of the glass had graham cracker crumbs so it was practically a dessert and I love dessert! Manayunk is a great little community with a variety of restaurants that offer plenty of character and atmosphere.

The third adventure in Philadelphia was the HOT! HOT! HOT! Phillies game against the Milwaukee Brewers. I ate an entire PINT of Philadelphia Water Ice to cool off. This resulted in a sugar high and then a sugar fall. I was falling asleep at the ballpark because of the heat and the sugar and the fact that I am not a HUGE fan. I dig ballparks, but man, it was HOT!

Ghosts of Feet Past

During my formative shopping years when my mother would teach me the ways of the mall, I have memories of holding up items and my mother saying, "That is just like I used to wear in the 70's," or "I had the same skirt in high school." I never believed the fashion of my youth would reappear as my mother's fashion seemed to come full circle.

However, I have now reached the age where I am seeing flashbacks of my younger days in the 80's. As I walked down Walnut Street in downtown Philadelphia last night, I entered shop after shop where I seemed to find ghosts of fashion's past. Along with the leggings under skirts and the geometrically patterned tops that seemed to fall just so off the mannequin's shoulders, I found Jelly Shoes.

I can't believe people are going to wear Jelly Shoes again. Let me just state for the record that I, Sara of the Midwestern Position, will not be fashionably regressing to the Jelly Shoe...the Jelly Shoe that lacks all comfort and let me remind you, is made of plastic. There is nothing comfortable about plastic. It is because of this plastic that the Jelly Shoe causes your feet to sweat. For some, you do not need more of a reason for your feet to sweat. For others, let me give you one more reason to avoid the Jelly...you will kick yourself when you are wearing those hot pink Jellies just like you did back in '85 and your Jellie strap breaks because it is made of PLASTIC and has a life of six weeks.

Come on people, with all of the cute fashion choices out there, we do not have to become victims of fashion nostalgia. The Jelly just isn't worth it.

The Cuban One

With the exception of Ricky Ricardo and Mojitos, I know very little about the Cuban culture. Sure, I know that their cigars are spectacular and they have a dictator named Fidel, but other than that, I lack all cultural appreciation for Cuba. I am hoping that will change tonight as I go into the city to eat Cuban food for the first time.

We are eating early to get in on the happy hour specials which will allow us to treat ourselves to what has been described to me twice as "spendy" Cuban food. I hope that the restaurant is not so trendy and "spendy" that it is not authentic. Sometimes going to a little mom and pop restaurant will give you a better appreciation of ethnic foods than a trendy place. I can count only one upscale restaurant that I have been to since I moved here. It isn't for lack of choices or lack of desire, but I have been intimidated by the requirements of the restaurants.

In the midwest, you can go to most restaurants without a reservation. Here, you could go to a restaurant with a reservation at 7 PM and be seated at 9 PM. I might be exaggerating a little, but this actually happened to us once. So, I made our reservation and I hope this can be added to my city adventures. I will let you know what I think.

Unfocused

Hang on...This is going to be one of those random posts where I take it upon myself to share the bits and pieces that make up my little mediocre life in Philadelphia.

I told you Dunkin' Doughnuts was an addiction and now I have proof. Yesterday, Dunkin' Doughnuts was giving away FREE iced coffee all day long. Now, I think that is what heroine dealers do too. They give you your first hit free and you get all hooked and have to pay for it after that. Well, I think DD have been doing their drug dealer homework because it is really a terrific strategy. To prove my theory, I tried to stay away from the DD today, but then I remembered my DD coupon book. I opened it, saw a coupon for another FREE iced coffee, so I went. I am so weak.


I would go for a walk today, but I am still suffering from the sunburn that I deservedly received at the beach on Sunday. The weather is perfect, but I am sun-phobic and will enjoy it through my open windows. I must get myself some of this SPF 45 I have been hearing so much about. I am not sure why I lie to myself and try to believe that I came from some olive skinned ancestors instead of the very Nordic genes of equal parts Norwegian and Swedish. I won't complain though. It is because of these Scandinavian genes that I normally have quite nice skin, red as it may be right now.

Now, this post would not be complete without the single most important topic of the day...Who will be the next American Idol? That is my best Ryan Seacrest impersonation. I plan on watching the entire show because my ex-television boyfriend, Mr. Clay Aiken, will be performing. For those who know me well, my love for Clay is no shock. I don't care if any of the other ghosts of Idol's past perform, just Clay. Then, the big moment when Ryan announces that Taylor Hicks won and Katharine will step aside with complete shock because it was supposed to be her moment...well, I hope I don't have to eat my words here. I think I like Taylor so much because he seems like the type of guy that would be awesome fun. He'd be the type to sing karaoke. He'd dance all night at a wedding dance. He'd always be willing to do drive by pranks. He'd never take himself too seriously. I haven't spoken to one person today or last night that said they voted for Katharine. Granted, I only spoke to Reddog and my mom.

Beachin' It

I have never had the opportunity to appreciate the beach as a landlocked midwesterner. I have seen the ocean on vacations, but never had the chance to drive to the beach and drive home to sleep in my own bed in the evening. On Sunday, Courtney and I drove to Cape May for a day of relaxation.

It couldn't have been more perfect. It wasn't too hot and there was a slight breeze from the ocean. From the picture, you can see that the beach was not crowded. Again, perfect. We sunned ourselves as we enjoyed the sounds of the ocean. After a while, we needed beach food so we found a restaurant that served my favorite beach food, CRABCAKES.

The last time I had been to the ocean was with Amy during our day trip to Coney Island. The two trips couldn't have been more different. Where Coney Island has treasures of its own like old amusement park rides and a variety of characters on the beach, Cape May was very little except the beach. I hope I can return the beach adventure to Amy someday when she comes to Cape May with me.

I forget how much I enjoy getting out of the city and into a place of peace and quiet. Even the interstate was a nice retreat from the building to building city. You can look forward to our next Philly Adventure...a Phillies baseball game!

Flip Floppin

I have long been an opponent to the flip flop. Maybe it was fear of the strap between my toes. Maybe it was the fact that there just isn't a lot of shoe there. I think more than anything it was the fact that there seemed to be a lot of decisions with the flip flop. Do I get the plastic ones? Do I get bedazzled ones? Do I get sporty ones? I just didn't want to make a flip flop decision. I kept flip-flopping on my flip flops.

But fate takes a hand in most of my shopping decisions. I was downtown last Saturday when I was caught in a downpour with my friend Amy and a cute little pair of canvas shoes. Canvas and rain are a recipe for disgusting. So, we wandered around until we found a store that could offer a pair of shoes that would be cheap, but rain friendly. This led me to the flip flops. Thank goodness I had Amy with me to guide my flip flop decision. She advised me to get a pair with cloth rather than plastic. I choose the green pair you see before you.

To my surprise, I have been enjoying the flip flop ever since.

My American Idol Two Cents

This post will not appeal to everyone because I am about to weigh in on American Idol.

First of all, I didn't start watching until they about six or seven contestants left. I haven't had a favorite this season. Really, I haven't had a favorite since the Reuben and Clay contest...of course, I was a Claymate. It wasn't until last night that I really started pulling for someone.

It was inevitable that Elliot would have to go home. He just wasn't as good a performer as Taylor and not as good of a singer as Katherine. I felt like Taylor and Katherine's true colors showed last night. Taylor and Elliot are humble. They realize how blessed they are to be on the show and to have achieved so much because of the show. They both articulated the overwhelming response they had to going home. Then there is Katherine...when asked how her week was in LA, her home town, she said "Boring." What does that say for all the people who came out to see her? Then, Ryan Seacrest tried to make her look good by saying something like, "Well, you must get great family support with them being so close in LA?" Her response was embarrassing. She said something like, "Well, no. I hardly talk to them." I suppose she is busy but that was her chance to say something about how her family is there everyweek and how she appreciates it.

Then, the third strike came against Katherine last night when it was revealed that Elliot was going home. She did not hide her relief. Taylor and Elliot really looked sad, but Katherine let out one very visible sigh of relief. Then, the camera showed her family jumping up and down...can't they hold it together for a few minutes as Elliot and his fans get to have their "Bad Day" moment.

After watching last night, I finally have a favorite and it is Taylor Hicks. I might even vote.

A Midwestern Recommendation

Joe. Purdy.

Two words. Really, that is all it took to make my day yesterday. This guy writes really beautiful music. There are a lot of whiney guitar playin' boys out there, but I dig him. I think his lyrics do it for me. If I have to compare him to anyone I would say that he is equal parts James Blunt, David Gray, Joshua Radin, and some Damien Rice thrown in for good measure.

I really like it when the music gods are looking down on me and say, "Gods, let's shed some new music on Sara. She's been loyal."

Midwestern Insight

Midwestern Insight #1
Walking through the beloved aisles of Target, I purchased something quite special. After five months of dedication and more than one awkward hair stage, I purchased my first hair accessory in six years. I purchased a headband sort of thing. I am not sure when I will have the courage to wear it, but I own it and it is a testament to my long term hair plan.

Midwestern Insight #2
The Bryn Mawr Film Institute is one of the gems in my neighborhood and I am a little ashamed that I did not take in a movie before Saturday night. Amy and I saw Thank You For Smoking. I really enjoyed it, but I love the satire and comedy that can be found in the politics of our lives. I am also very easy to please when it comes to movies.

Midwestern Insight #3
I gave myself a manicure today. Yes, this is uncharacteristically girly of me, but I just wanted to try it. I couldn't go for the full color on my fingernails because I have this thing where I think my nails might be dirty if I can't see under the nails. I put a clear, glossy nail polish on the nails. I filed them, lotioned, and polished. We'll see how long I can keep this up, but if the long term hair plan is any indicator, I might soon be a hand model!

Midwestern Insight #4
Finally, I made Pecan Praline Bacon for breakfast on Saturday. This is a recipe that I first had at bridal shower and it was very good. I served it with waffles and fresh fruit, but it would be really nice with french toast too. When you are looking to spice up your normal breakfast bacon, try this...it won't disappoint.

A Day with Dr. Mutter

My friend Amy visited from NYC this weekend. I had been saving a special tourist attraction until Amy came to visit because I knew that she would love this attraction, The Mutter Museum. Although Philadelphia has some amazing art and history museums, The Mutter Museum offers something that I have never seen before. Human medical anomalies, medical history, and antique medical instruments are on display at The Mutter Museum. The museum respects the medical history in the objects on display. It could be very easy to make this a 'freak show' type museum, but it is an educational experience for the history, science, sociology, and anthropology enthusiast.

I don't even know where to start. There are 2,000 items that have been removed from people's throat! I saw a death cast of the Chang and Eng-the conjoined twins, a variety of tumors, a huge collection of skulls, the tallest skeleton in North America, and medical instruments that I am so happy will never be used on me. I must not forget to mention the largest colon I have ever seen! It was the length of my arm span and as wide as a trunk of a tree.

This is not a museum for just anyone. There were times where I was left feeling disturbed, yet I was also left feeling thankful. As I walked along and viewed all the unfortunate malformations and diseases that have plagued human kind, I was thankful that I live in an age where medical knowledge and skills can aid patients with such ailments. On the other hand, I was disturbed at the number of conditions, particularly with babies, that still occur and there is nothing medical science can do for them. They are just born that way and do not survive. I was surprised at what I found disgusting and what I was comfortable viewing. My reaction to the items that had been found in people's throats really disgusted me, yet I viewed the huge collection of skulls without an adverse gut reaction and great interest. The skulls were labeled with the cause of death and location.

Along with so many other Philadelphia landmarks, museums, and sights, I will never be able to see these things anywere else.

Happy Mother's Day

She's been my mother for almost 30 years. She has been the one who knows me best. She has been the one who went to every recital. She went to every choir concert.

She helped me pick out my prom dresses. She helped plan my birthday parties. She taught me how to find a good deal. She has taught me to buy a new dress for special occasions. She helped plan my wedding. She makes my favorite dishes. She put braids and curls in my hair. She has celebrated every birthday, every graduation, every big moment in my life.

She has modeled how to be a strong woman, a strong wife, a strong sister, and a strong daughter. She has taught me when it is okay not to be strong. She has shown me the importance of friendship. She has shown me how to enjoy life with family, travel, friends, and myself. She has taught me how to relax. She has taught me how to work. She is my mom. She knows me best and I love her. Happy Mother's Day!

A List...

I AM missing people tonight.
I WANT engagement.
I WISH I could see my family more often.
I HATE when people act like they have no control over their relationships.
I MISS going next door to Jodi's classroom for a good talk.
I FEAR losing perspective.
I HEAR Ella.
I WONDER if we'll ever get back to the midwest permanently.
I REGRET very little in my life.
I AM NOT tired. I feel like staying up late.
I DANCE when I do the dishes.
I SING karaoke, in the shower, in the car, at the bar, and in the kitchen.
I CRY when I lose someone.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS baked goods.
I WRITE my blog, emails, and notes.
I NEED my digital camera to work.
I SHOULD take more walks.
I START to wonder why friends drift away.
I FINISH each day with a nightly chat with Tim.
I'M GLAD that I am here.

My Quarterly Rant

To be honest, I was not in the best of moods this evening. Since I am normally a positive and forward-thinking person, I am going to allow this one rant.

First of all, I was mad at George W. Bush, but what is new. I am just so sick of the excuses and reasons behind what I see as a breech of our freedoms. Don't even bother leaving a comment on this post if you disagree with me because I am not going to get into it with anyone, let alone anyone who thinks this guy has clue one.

Lessons are to learned in all stages of our lives, and I believe that I learned an important lesson today. Don't be a junkyard dog who gets kicked and goes back for more. When I reach out to a person over and over again with very little in return...well...get a clue, Sara.

I could on and on, but that would be wallowing a bit and no one likes a wallower.

So, let me turn the beat around and tell you how I improved my mood. Courtney and I checked out Milkboy again for a coffee and some music. A colleague's husband was playing with his band at Milkboy. After I ordered a delicious cafe au lait and took a seat. I returned home to watch The Office and was pleased with the outcome. Jim said to Pam, "I'm in love with you." I loved it. I am so glad that he didn't just say, "I love you." It doesn't mean as much. Well done, Jim.

Okay, I understand that Jim and Pam are characters in a show, but it is a good show.

As I write this, I am in a much better mood. I guess it was just a two hour phase. Thanks for indulging me.

Midwestern Review: Match Point

Adultery never gets old. Well, that is what Hollywood thinks and, I guess, I have to agree with them. No matter the movie, I seem to find the movies knee-deep in secrets and betrayal the most engaging. Match Point was no exception.

If you are a long time reader of The Midwestern Position, you might remember my amateur review of Closer which was smothered in adultery that it was difficult to dig deeper to see a theme of truth, but with Match Point, Woody Allen lays it out from the minute the movie starts. This movie is about luck and the part luck plays in each of our lives. Now, I am such a novice that I am going to take Woody's advice and say that this movie is about luck and not some underlying theme that I am far to lazy to explore...it makes it easier for everyone.

Match Point was able to do what Closer was not able to do...I felt bad for the sleazy, cheating husband. I am such a sucker. This guy made his bed and he sure didn't sleep in it, but I felt sympathy for this character who wore his mediocrity on his sleeve and expected people around him to commend him for it.

I guess, without giving away too much, this movie was also about sacrifice. With all the luck in the world, no matter how good things have turned out, a person can still be left feeling like they gave something up...let something slip through their hands...let someone get away.

DDA

Hi. My name is Sara.

"Hi, Sara."

I am addicted to Dunkin' Doughnuts Hazelnut coffee with cream and sugar. I haven't always been this way. I used to get by on a nice Diet Coke...for social drinking, really. I only went out for coffee for the talking and social piece that accompanied it. But like any addiction, it took a special drug to get me hooked. I thought I had tried the hard stuff before like Starbucks or Caribou, but I guess I like to slum it when it comes to coffee. The guy behind the counter now knows my order by heart. People look at me and I know what they are thinking..."Man, she has a problem" when the man behind the counter says, "Medium Hazelnut cream sugar." I politely say, "Yes. Thank you."

I don't care about the judgement I am getting from those doughnut buying junkies...all I know is that the minute I get back to my car and drink that sweet, sweet nectar, I find a little peace in my far from chaotic world.

Just Because It is Fun to be Self-Absorbed...

Your Birthdate: September 15

You take life as it is, and you find happiness in a variety of things. You tend to be close to family and friends. But it's hard to get into your inner circle. Making the little things wonderful is important to you, and you probably have an inviting home. You seek harmony with others, but occasionally you have a very stubborn streak. Your strength: Your intense optimism Your weakness: You shy away from exploring your talents Your power color: Jade Your power symbol: Flower Your power month: June

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Beware of Idiots

On Friday night, I went with a few friends and co-workers to a new bar in the area to celebrate my last day at Borders. We entered the bar and found a booth. All of us noticed immediately a group of men standing around the bar 'holding court'. They were all wearing royal blue muscle shirts with the words "DUKE LAX". Well, for those midwesterners, it meant DUKE LACROSSE. We don't have a lot of LaCrosse in the midwest.

All I could think about when I saw this group of men/boys was PRIVILEDGE. I believe my assumptions are 100% right because they couldn't be more cliché. They were men from the University just down the road. What was the purpose of wearing these shirts except to have people stare at them? I am sure the Duke LaCrosse team doesn't feel their support since they are three states away. When asked why these men would wear such a distasteful and tacky shirt, the argument was made that they probably play lacrosse. So. I am a teacher and I don't wear shirts that support teachers who sleep with their students. I am not saying that anyone is innocent or guilty. I am saying that it is a sad and unfortunate situation that is happening at Duke and their community and this act of muscle shirt wearing was tacky. I would expect more from a community that prides themselves on their refined and scholarly young people.

I can picture how this immature and embarrassingly crude plan came to be. Picture it...18-22 year old men sitting around their house that smells of old beer and old pizza. Of course, they are sitting on third hand couches; at least three couches because college man dens always have at least three. The stupidest, most privileged of the men, probably the one who is on the six year plan since his father just keeps paying the tuition finds his one stroke of genius for the decade, "HEY! Let's get matching muscle shirts and have DUKE LAX printed on them and go out and drink on Friday night. That'll show 'em."

Then, all the men will go along with it because to stray from such disgusting behavior is not part of the privileged, white, so over-educated they are stupid man DNA. They laugh and the ball starts rolling. Before we know it, they end up in a bar where they offend other patrons and make themselves look like idiots.

These are the men that will soon give you a low rate on your mortgage. These are the men that will deliver your babies. These are the men that will date our friends, daughters, and sisters.

Bible Camp

Bible Camp became an annual occasion where I would travel with anywhere from two to ten of my closest friends. Yes, ten of my closest friends. All afternoon crafting sessions and campfire songs became a part of my adolescent narrative.
Starting at age eleven, I traveled to Bible Camp for one week each summer where I would anticipate a week that was supposed to be filled with a spiritual awakening, yet it usually held something more likened to a weeklong Sadie Hawkins dance. None of the hormonal drivings affected me during my first years of Bible Camp. Instead, I was more interested in the daily game of Capture the Flag or the clever camp counselors’ stories. I had to convince people to join me in the nature trails because very few people seemed to enjoy the steep, dirt trails the way I did. They were no wider than two feet and on each side of the trail you could find a variety of sharp or pointy brush that could warrant a trip to the camp nurse. Even a pretty intense case of poison ivy could not keep me from the trails year after year.
Every year held some certainties. Campfire songs. Hot cabins. KP (kitchen patrol) duty. The one thing that I hoped would not make an appearance at Bible Camp was my annual case of laryngitis. It wasn’t just coincidence. It had to do with my screaming as I played those field games, the fact that I had to sing every single song that a camp counselor strummed on his guitar, and the late nights talking from top bunk to bottom bunk. For years, I became known as that girl who always lost her voice. I could usually hold out for two days and it was pretty quiet from them on.
All things in teenagedom hold an ounce of drama and nothing shouted drama like the campfire time. Our campfires were held on what could have been one of the few hills in North Dakota. On the peak of the hill were three huge wooden crosses. We’d sit around the fire for an hour or so and sing songs. Usually, a counselor would share their story of faith. That was always the boring part. I just wanted to sing. The campfire held a new excitement when I reached that point in Bible Camp when I met a boy. Year after year, I would spend one week with Paul. We were a little different than most camp couples because we’d write to each other every week and even see each other during the year between camp week. We were not always in that exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship but remained close for many years. Paul was so connected to Bible Camp that he became a counselor years later.
Some kids get homesick when they said goodbye to their parents and some became love sick when they said goodbye to their camp sweetie. I didn't suffer from either of these ailments at camp. For me, camp had everything that I loved during my teenage years...friends, songs, games, nature, activity, and a little handholding.

Romantic Comedies and the Like

The other night at work, the males at Borders were discussing the Star Wars light sabers and how 'awesome' they were. One co-worker must have noticed my disinterest by the blank stare I was giving them that these light sabers held no interest for me.

"Sara, does your husband like Star Wars?"

I replied, "My husband likes any movie with a troll, wizard, and/or Jedi."

The co-worker continued, "So, does he go to romantic comedies with you?"

WHAT? Why do men assume that all women like romantic comedies? I don't like romantic comedies. I like mafia movies, period pieces, historical films, documentaries, and some quirky comedies. Not all women are the same. That is a simple concept. I don't want expensive jewelry. I don't get my nails done. I'm a good driver. However, I do really like shoes.

Food Pathologies

People's food pathologies hold high interest for me. For some reason, I really like to know how and why people like things the way they like them.

Take Starbursts. I like them a lot. I open the Starburst package and eat the flavors in the order that is given until I come to a pink or red one. Then, I set them aside. I continue to eat the orange and yellow in that order. When all of the orange and yellow are finished, I returned to the separated red and pink and alternate flavors until I have finished the package. Delicious.

Fries. I like to make a reasonable size mound of ketchup, preferably not touching any fries, where I can dip the fries and determine for myself how much ketchup will be on the fry. Some people squirt the ketchup all over the fries which gives very little control to ketchup distribution or dipping factor.

Shakes. I like a thick shake. I don't like a thin shake. I want that shake to last a long time because I down ice cream in a pretty speedy pace.

Hamburgers. Why would you have a hamburger without the cheese??? Cheese always makes things better.

Ketchup. Some people like to put this condiment on a delicious mac and cheese or grilled cheese. That is working against you. Cheese is the good part of all of these comfort foods. They don't need ketchup.

The Midwestern Mix, Volume One

A few months ago, I asked my readers if they would be interested in receiving the Midwestern Position Mix, Volume One.

I only received four takers. Leif, Shelly, Melanie, and Angela, Volume One is in the mail. But to entice other readers or allow them to kick themselves for missing this free CD, I will post the mix.

The songs that I have placed on Volume One have either been songs and/or artists mentioned on the blog over the last two years. They were usually discussed in terms of karaoke worth, Amazon recommendations, general recommendations, or my obsession with certain songs from the past.

Disc One
Groove Me by King Floyd

Today by Joshua Radin

I Say a Little Prayer by Aretha Franklin

Golddigger by Kayne West

Barbeque by The Animal Liberation Orchestra

Heat of the Moment by Asia

Blackbird by The Beatles

I'm Movin' Out by Billy Joel

Don't Come Easy by Patty Griffin

Colors by Amos Lee

Heart of Glass by Blondie

Troubled Mind by Catie Curtis

You're So Vain by Carly Simon

9 to 5 by Dolly Parton

September by Earth, Wind, & Fire

Second Hand News by Fleetwood Mac

I Heard It Through the Grapevine by Gladys Knight and the Pips

Rich Girl by Hall & Oates

Barracuda by Heart

Proud Mary by Tina and Ike Turner

Hammer and a Nail by Indigo Girls

Sunset Soon Forgotten by Iron & Wine

Ex-Boyfriend

Readers, meet Chris.

Chris, meet the readers.

Actually, I should have introduced him to you as my one time fantasy boyfriend years 1993-1996. Chris O'Donnell is a movie star, but that didn't stop me from adoring him and thinking that he was the dreamiest of the dreamy. Now, it seems that my ex-moviestar imaginary boyfriend is back on television in Grey's Anatomy. I watched the first season, but like most shows, I stop because I forget to watch it or I get bored with it. So, I kind of want to rekindle this relationship with Chris, but I would be starting it midseason and that never works out. In the end, I will lose interest in our weekly date on Sunday night and break his heart. What I predict will be a one night fling where I rent season two of Grey's Anatomy and we spend a beautiful weekend together.

Take a Break, Sara

The world was showing me little and some not-so-little signs that I have been to busy working twelve hour days over the past three days. It all started to catch up with me this morning when I was walking up the steps at school. The school is an old building with beautiful stone steps. I was waving and talking to a student and her parent. I was so busy being social that I completely missed the fact that those stone steps have a huge, protruding stone piece that my sandal caught and sent me flying flat on my face. There I lay. My lunchbag about three feet in front of me. A little five year old standing over me asking, "Are you okay, Sara?" I hop up and say, "Boy, I hope my lunch is okay." The little five year old says, "I hope you are okay."

I spend the day teaching school and head off to Borders for the third night in a row. I was in a great mood. I go up to the information desk to greet some co-workers. They all looked very serious so I said, "Why are you all so serious???" It only took one person to gesture to the woman who was not-so-obvious to me passed out cold. She had two people attending to her while the serious co-workers were calling 911. Because I am self-absorbed, I felt embarrassed that I didn't see the poor lady and I was all chipper. Awkward.

I thought taking a water break later in the night would be nice so I stood at the bubbler. Without anything to distract me, I dropped my cup of water all over the floor and my pants. Nice.

Left Rather Dry of Inspiration

Do you hear that sound?

It is a sort of sucking sound.

It is the sound of all creative juices being sucked out of my brain. I have nothing to write about. More likely, I have no time to write anything worth leaving for the few that stop by my little corner of the internet. I have a week and a day left at Borders and I anticipate a flood of creativity after my soul has been set free from the retail ties that bind me.

Don't abandon me.

Six Feet Under, Again

I stayed up until 1:45 AM last night because I lack all self-control when it comes to watching one of my favorite television shows Six Feet Under. I had discs two through four and enjoyed them. Because I have to know the ending of movies, books, and shows, I had read the episode guides online. I knew what was going to happen. Something sad happens. I won't ruin it for you, but I found myself on the couch crying buckets.

I usually do not cry at movies or television shows, but this was particularly sad. I always find it amazing how a character that doesn't really exist can get a person unglued. For example, I was sad for David who is a character in the show. He doesn't exist, yet there I sit, crying with that throat thing. The throat thing where you think your throat is going to explode because you are holding in your tears. I think it is because David could be anyone or everyone.

See Ya, Borders

My retail life is coming to an end. I have put in my two week notice at Borders. I thought about working through May, but I don't want to. I am lucky to have a sugar daddy named Tim so that I can quit this job. I still have my preschool job and my kindergarten job on the horizon. Because I like lists, I will list what I got out of my stint at Borders...

1. Lots of free music. With my love of the semi-obscure music scene, I was able to obtain several promo CDs. I will listen to almost anything. I came home with everything from the soundtrack to Brokeback Mountain to Genesis Ultimate Platinum Collection. All together, I think I acquired over 15 CDs. On one day alone, I came home with six CDs.

2. An appreciation for all things retail. I was never a rude person before I worked at Borders, but now, I understand the plight of the retail worker. Just believe me when I tell you this...they are doing their best. They want you to be happy. I am sorry that I cannot read the customer's mind or have every single movie ever flimed on hand. I understand that retail workers are people too. They always appreciate a kind gesture rather than a huff and a puff, "FINE!" if they can't find the item you are looking for.

3. A few chums. Although I would catagorize most of my collegues at Borders as near-to-insane, I will catagorize a select few as clever, insightful, and creative. I like to hang out with just those types of people.

4. A good discount. I will miss the 33% off music and books, but I will have my Borders Rewards coupons which are almost just as good. By the way, if you haven't joined and you frequent Borders, you should get a free Borders Rewards card. I did get quite good at pimping the Borders Rewards when I was behind the register.

5. Jeans with faded knees. I never knew this would happen to me. All of my jeans have faded knees because I am always bending down to shelve a DVD, find a book, or search underneath CD racks for some obscure Rod Stewart CD that a customer might just die without. This is a good excuse to go shopping for new jeans.

6. A minor in psychology. Like earlier stated, most of the people that I worked with at Borders suffer from some sort of personality disorder. I was able to observe and diagnosis a narcassitic disorder. Not one, but several people suffered from this disorder with no hope on the horizon for recovery. That might sound harsh, but I can assure you, completely true.

7. An all together better sense of what is out there in books, music, and movies. I loved shelving because I was able to see the new things that came into the store. I was able to check out the back of movies and books and add them to my mental list of things that I want to experience.

Thanks Borders.

BBQ Burns Brain Cells

I rarely find myself in a setting where I have absolutely no idea what is going on. Last night was one of those exceptions.

I went to Famous Dave's Restaurant. The food, drink, and company were fantastic. I ordered ribs, potato salad, and a tea. Courtney accompanied my to this midwest favorite. Tim missed out because he was working late on a project. At one point in the evening, I got up to use the restrooms. I followed the signs and found two doors. One said POINTERS and the other said SETTERS. I had no idea what this meant. So, I waited for someone to come out of the doors so I would know which was the women's bathroom. I waited and waited and no one came out. Finally, I turned to the waiter who walked past me and I said, "I have no idea what a POINTER or a SETTER is? Is that an animal thing?" Without saying anything, he pointed to the little signs that said WOMEN and MEN above the door.

I felt stupid, but come on!

A Nice Day

Today is spectacular. A nice 75 degrees. No wind. Not a cloud in the sky.

I couldn't resist but to take myself for a walk around the village of Bryn Mawr. I got ready for the day with my rolled up jeans so they can feel like capris and a comfy, well-loved t-shirt. I put the smart, lime green ipod on and I started my walk. I had tasks to complete within this lovely walk. I needed some hairspray and I needed to mail a package at the post office.

I took the long way. I walked and walked, but I love how Bryn Mawr has benches along the main street to sit and watch all the excitement of the day.

It wasn't until I was standing on the busiest corner, waiting for the walk sign to flash that I had this recurring thought pop into my head, "Man, my life is good." It wasn't the nice day. It wasn't the beautiful spring blossoms. It wasn't even the music playing in my ears. It was the woman standing next to me in nylons, high heeled shoes, navy blue suit, and a pile of papers and folders in her arms that made me realize how cushy my life is. I was on a walk in my home made jean capris, cozy t-shirt, ipod in hand, Diet Coke in bag, and just about to sit on a bench to relax outside. I would hate to have a job where I have to go there wearing a suit and stuck inside all day.

itune Frenzy

When I get an itunes gift card in my grubby little hands, I follow a certain pattern of behavior. First, I get nostalgic. I find myself drawn to oldies, but goodies. Goodies, of course, is subjective. I am not sure if everyone would consider Boston's "More Than a Feeling" a goodie, but it definitely brings me back to my childhood bedroom where I used to sit on the floor with my cassette tape playin' boom box right next to me as I do my homework.

To my shock and slight embarrassment, I realize that I do not possess the classic by Rick Springfield "Jesse's Girl". How could this be? I have "Love Somebody" and "Human Touch", yet completely missed the wedding dance standard! No worries, downloaded immediately.

No music collection is complete without an addition to an already large Madonna collection. "Vogue"? Check. "Crazy For You"? Check. "Burning Up"? No!!! I do not have "Burning Up"! I must own this little gem.

The Pretenders have become a recent obsession. I think it is the combination of lyric, deep voice of Chrissie Hynde, and momentum that I hear in the insturments behind her voice. Today, I purchased the bass driven "My City Was Gone". AHHHH! Everyone should love this song.

When I finally get the nostalgic that is so deeply connected to music in my mind, I move onto the smaller category of most loved artists. Lyle Lovett always enters my mind when I purchase music. I like to go to his page and see what I need to have in my collection. Today, I purchased "Nobody Knows Me" and "That's Right (You're Not From Texas)". A person doesn't have to love country music to adore Lyle Lovett. He is so talented and his voice is modest, yet beautiful. Of course, I can't mention Lyle Lovett without telling you to listen to my favorite "Private Conversation". If you are to own only one of his songs that would be my recommendation.

Thankfully, I live in Philadelphia where I am graced with the beloved wxpn.org that plays really, really great music. They list their playlists so I can always check out the music that they play and then, stalk those artists on itunes. This leads me to the last step in music buying. Sometimes, the artists are so obscure on wxpn that I cannot find them on itunes. Today, I wanted to purchase Jose Gonzalez's music, but itunes did not have a lot of his music. So, I went for Rufus Wainwright. Right now, I am loving "Hallelujah" by my man Rufus. Just a piano and Rufus. Very nice. Very haunting.

Although nostagia leads several of my itune purchases, I learn about music from the radio and friends. I like to discuss music and artists. If you have some recommendations or comments on my suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Diaper Dish

I guess a woman gets to a certain age when her girlfriends become mothers. The same women that I danced until dawn with and the same women that I slept in tents with when we were only fifteen years old are the same women that now have an unlimited amount of insight on diapers.

I don't exaggerate. On an evening out with my maternal girlfriends, they spent fifteen minutes discussing, and at times, debating Huggies to Luvs to Pampers. I found myself in a rare instance where I have nothing to add to the topic. I just sat there and drank my beer. I didn't think I was being rude. I sat there, looked at the friends having this discussion, and finally, I added, "This cannot go on. Not that I am not interested in diapers, but we can find something else to talk about." They all laughed and agreed that we could find something more to discuss.

I think I might have been rude, but with lifelong friends, I think you can be a little rude. We moved on to other topics, some high brow and most of them low brow.

Check Baby, Check Baby, 1 2 3

I thought I was in a time warp today at the grocery store.

As I was standing in line with the many North Dakotans buying their Easter hams, I saw what appeared to be people with their checkbooks. Yes, these people were taking their time, writing the given amount to pay for their groceries.

I don't think I have written a check in public for about three years. It is either cash or card for me. This transition occured when I realized that in Des Moines and Minneapolis, it was rare to find a restaurant or establishment that would actually take a check.

I think North Dakota might be one of the last places where the check is still accepted. This is not to say that I am mocking North Dakota or their way of doing things. Quite the opposite. I like that in North Dakota your name and your signature still means something. It means that you are good for it. It means that people are honest and really do have money in their accounts. It means that people are not rushed to change simply because technology tells them to. It means that being quick and easy isn't always the right way to do things.

A Pet For Everyone

My parents have this place in the woods that is a weekend home but will soon be a home when they retire. My parents have never had a pet in our home. The closest they have come to a pet is when my brother and sister-in-law lived with them for a short while with their apprehensive cat, Abby.

Now that they are living in the woods across from my uncle's farm, they have some feline and canine friends. Of course, they just visit and go back to their homes, but my parents are so funny when they talk about them. To my parents, the animals do not have names in the traditional sense. The cat is referred to as Short Tailed Cat. To explain the reasoning behind this name would be redundant. They tell stories about Short Tailed Cat and how she'll visit and bring home dead squirrels. They describe Short Tail Cat with endearing terms like brave and friendly.

Although they enjoy Short Tailed Cat, they also have an animal visit them called Black Dog. Again, they don't say "Oh, there is that black dog again." No. They would say, "Oh, there is Black Dog," as if it his name. In their minds, it is his name. I think Short Tailed Cat is their favorite because it doesn't jump and they consider Black Dog kind of stupid with the way it will block the door and jump on guests.

Short Tailed Cat and Black Dog are everyone's pet in the woods, I guess. They come and go and entertain and bother whoever they please whenever they please. Even though my parents have not been pet lovers, they like the ones that visit and stay outside so Short Tailed Cat and Black Dog are okay with them.

Not one. Not Two. Not Even Three. But Four!

Here I am cuddling with my newest friends, Lola, Lucy, and Lauren. They are sisters and were born in November to my friends Tim and Marisa. They have this great big brother too, Will. I have showed my love for Will on this blog before, but let me love on by saying that he is the perfect toddler. He kisses, dances, and falls without crying. He is terrific. The girls must be taking after their big brother because they are so chilled out. I guess you have to be when you are a triplet.

Babies have a way of being born to the right parents. Tim and Marisa are so relaxed and easy-going with their family. A friend can see right away when you walk in their house that these babies and one toddler are very loved. Everyone is happy and enjoying themselves as well as the parents. Some might be all frazzled with four little ones, but Tim and Marisa have a way of making it look easy when anyone with a brain would know that it is far from easy. Like all of my friends' babies, I am excited to see these little ones grow and change. I look forward to getting a good dose of triplets and Will when I am here in Grand Forks for a visit.

Riding with the King

Damn you Burger King! Damn you and your delicious Jr. Whopper with Cheese Value Meal!

Actually, I should be shaming myself on this blog. I have been clean for over 90 days from the evil that is McDonalds, yet when I was driving down Gateway Drive in Grand Forks today with my brother, I could not resist the calling of the Whopper.

It has been easy for me to resist fast food in my neighborhood because McDonalds is all that we have. I just follow the advice of everyone's favorite first lady, Ms. Nancy Reagan...I JUST SAY NO! But then we have the crowned one. I haven't had BK for sometime and by sometime I mean not since the summer of 2005.

The result of such a breakdown of self-control...complete and absolute rejection on the part of my stomach. Following the last bite of the Jr. Whopper with Cheese Value Meal, my stomach has taken to taking the boxing gloves out of the closet and pounding the inner wall of whatever organs happen to be down there just to remind me that I am a weak, weak, weak woman.

Home Sweet Home

I am a tired cookie tonight. I left before the sun even came up to travel to Grand Forks for the week. I am thrilled to be here with my family. I feel like it is a nice reward for me after a hard working spring at the bookstore and the preschool. I have been so busy with planning and observing kindergartens in the area that I haven't had a lot of relaxation time.

I have big plans this week. I am going to continue some observations, but only one morning at a school in Grand Forks. Wednesday will hold an adventure. I will be traveling to my friend's cafe to have lunch. She just started this business venture with her husband and I want to give them some of my business. The most important thing for me this week is to hang with my parents, my friends, my brother and his wife, and enjoy North Dakota.

Bananas Are Good For One Thing

I make an abnormal amount of banana bread. I would say that I make banana bread, banana cake, or banana muffins at least once a week. It is true that banana bread is one of my favorite things in the world, yet this is not the reason for such a banana frenzy. It is also true that I love to bake. Baking is a very relaxing and satisfying activity for me.

The reason for such a super-concentrated amount of banana sweets in my house can all be blamed on good intentions. I buy bananas to eat as a fruit. However, I get distracted and end up neglecting the bananas for an orange, or more likely, a piece of candy. As a result, the beautiful, yellow bananas turn into a perfect ingredient for a baked good. I am sure this is a metaphor for my life in some way, but I won't go into it.

I have two terrific banana bread recipes. My Grandma Mabel has a recipe that calls for one cup of brewed, room-temperature coffee that is so moist and flavorful that I highly recommend it. I also use Marilyn's recipe. Marilyn is the mother of one of my best friends and she is known as a great cook. Marilyn's is also very moist and flavorful, but instead of coffee to keep the bread moist, she uses sour cream. I have been testing out banana cake recipes and have finally found a really good one that uses allspice with an allspice cream cheese frosting. I am still looking for the perfect muffin recipe. With all of these recipes and bananas, Tim and I could not eat all of the baked goods, nor should we! So, Borders and school are the recipients of baked goods. They have come to expect banana goods. If it isn't banana, they are shocked.

I recommend that you try Grandma Mabel's recipe sometime. It won't disappoint.

Grandma Mabel's Banana Bread

1 cup sugar
1/2 cup Parkey Margarine
2 eggs
2 smashed, very ripe bananas
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup room temperature brewed coffee
1 level tsp. baking soda dissolved in coffee

Cream sugar, margarine, and add egg once creamed. Add smashed bananas. Mix in flour and baking powder. Blend in coffee and soda mixture. Pour into greased loaf pans and bake for 50 minutes to an hour. I make one full loaf and two mini loafs with this recipe. It can make two regular loafs. Happy baking.

Sara's Midwestern Position on Aging

I was challenged by my friend Steve that I would not keep up on the Midwestern Position. Not the blog, but the posts where I cut the crap and give my very honest and somewhat judgmental opinions on a variety of topics. Today is no exception.

It might seem odd that a twenty-nine year old would be sharing her opinion about aging, but I age everyday, just like you. My opinion is not focused on the aches and pains usually associated with aging, but rather, the nonsense that is associated with aging.

I was driving down a neighborhood street in Grand Forks when my mother said something I considered to be sage wisdom when she started telling me how many of her colleagues complain about getting older...

"Sara, I don't know why they complain. What is the alternative. You die."

Right she is. I can't stand it when a young person says, "I can't believe we are twenty-nine. We are getting so old." Are you kidding? That statement is annoying to me on so many levels. First of all, I have loved every age that I have ever been so I am assuming that I will love 30, 40, 50, and beyond. I plan to live to be a healthy 97 years old and I hope that I never say, "We are getting so old." I just believe in time as a blessing, age as a token of growth, and everyday as an opportunity to do something.

Cash, Planes, and Crepes

Last night, I was at the Philadelphia airport waiting for my friend, Janelle. For some odd reason, the planes were all backed up and she couldn't get to her gate. Unfortunately, she had to wait on her plane for an hour after it landed. In these cases, I like to put on my sociologist hat and do some observing.

The man sitting next to me smelled very good. He was very tall and had slicked back black hair. I didn't really take notice of him until he pulled out this WAD of one hundred dollar bills. I have never seen someone with that much cash except when I am watching The Sopranos. He took what had to have been over three thousand dollars and split it up into two rubber bands. It was probably a 30-70 split. Finally, a woman who I am assuming was his wife was greeted by the tall, nicely smelling man with the big wad of cash. He handed the smaller wad of cash to the woman and they walked away, hand in hand. It makes you wonder about their lives and what it is that he does for a living. He definitely would physically fit in with the Tony Soprano crowd. He had a gold pinky ring, a sharp dresser, and THAT BIG WAD OF CASH!

Janelle was finally able to depart her airplane and we took off for my nook of Philadelphia. We enjoyed a nice meal at one of my favorite Main Line Italian restaurants, Primavera Pizza Kitchen. They give you generous portions and their Caesar salad is wonderful. Today, we will go to the Reading Terminal Market and eat crepes.

Flower Power

In front of my school, two simple daffodils have blossomed among the wood chips. I really enjoy daffodils. They mean so much. Most people associate tulips with the coming of spring but the daffodil is the big sister to the tulip who shows up a little earlier to make sure it is safe for the tulips to come out.

I think my love of the daffodil developed in the spring of 2003. I had spent the last school year commuting thirty minutes each way from one Iowa town to another. I was never a person who hated the commute, but I would tend to lose time during the commute. I would get into my car and before I knew it, I would be pulling into my parking lot, not realizing where the last thirty minutes had gone.

I realized that I needed some benchmarks along the way home to take note of my time. Or at the very least, an inner dialogue with myself.

"Oh, the horses are out today. Oh, they really like each other today."

"I wish that ice cream shop was open all year round."

"Is that a deer ahead or is that just a really big dog?"

About ten minutes before I reached home, I would drive by this sprawling farm that had the most beautiful driveway. Most people can't appreciate a beautiful driveway, but on each side of the gravel path, daffodils would bloom. At first, it was just a few and in the coming week, the driveway was lined with a stream of yellow. Although the daffodil season was short, the driveway didn't disappoint. After the daffodils, the tulips came. After the tulips, the variety of summer blooms. The driveway became the last benchmark before I would reach home.

The two little daffodils at school did not compare to the huge lot of daffodils that lined that country drive, but it made me think of Iowa, spring, and how life should have little benchmarks to make us remember and think about where we are going.

A Lesson By Dante

I am finishing The Girls Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank. It is a light read about a woman and her journey in her twenties, where she came from and where she is going. It's the type of book that a person can get through in a few days. It is the type of book that a person can read and not think twice about...with one exception. In the book, a character tries to enlighten the main character by sharing what Dante defines as Hell...

Hell is proximity without intimacy.

Is it just me or is that powerful to anyone else?

If we step back and think about our relationships, how many of us are living in this special type of Hell? Not that I have some deeper insight into the human heart than anyone else, but I certainly have insight into my own process. I can't stand relationships without intimacy. It doesn't fit like a tight high heel shoe doesn't fit. I want to fix it, get intimate, connect until it does fit.

I shared this idea with a few people. They either felt the importance and implications in their own lives or they completely dismissed it. I am not talking about the physical intimacy between two people, but rather, the emotional intimacy between two people. This intimacy can ebb and flow too. I have had relationships where the friendships and feelings are so important and strong that a day doesn't pass without talking or listening to them. Then, with that same friendship, time passes quickly, without a notice that you no longer feel the need to talk things over with him/her.

Maybe the worst kind of Hell is the kind where a person reaches and gives of themselves to have intimacy with a person...friend, family, colleague...and there is no one there who wants to receive it. Is the giver in Hell? Or is that person who refuses the connection?

Just in Case You Were Wondering...

I like Anne Taintor stuff, Diet Coke, digital cameras, greeting cards, soundtracks, steak, malts with lots of malt powder, taking classes, courdory, notecards, getting my eyebrows waxed, sudoku, mixed CDs, candles, secret hiding spots, small surprises, strawberry jam, chapstick, folky-guitar singer/songwriter music, powerful moments, mojitos, patio parties, getting my back scratched, scratching backs, wedding dances, Hall and Oates, scrapbooking, throwing pottery on a wheel, North Dakota, Minnesota, Iowa, sitting with Tim on the couch, plain M&Ms, candles, family folklore, Heart of Glass by Blondie, Steak-n-Shake, gardens, chocolatey cereals, scratching things off with coins to see if I won, The Music Man, and open windows.


I don't like flip-flops, sleeveless shirts, big surprises, Oprah, Bill O'Reilly, sunflowers, soft and mushy apples, big dogs, narcissism (ironic, I know), saxophone music, contrived drama, tragedy, laundry, melon, dry skin, stepping on a Lego, tanning beds, holey socks, cilantro, redundancy, excuses, puppets, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, tardiness, television (unless it is in DVD form), Revenge of the Nerd movies, people who ask me when I am going to have a baby, that I don't have enough storage space, losing people, eating my words, commerical radio, people who speak loudly on their cell phones in restaurants, and pancakes.

An Update

1. I traveled to Philadelphia where I unloaded items off a truck for the Kindergarten. We didn't have to pay for any of the items on the truck, but something about it just seemed kind of Sopranos. We were in a less than desirable neighborhood with a fire burning behind the truck, and unloading this truck. I am sure it was all very legal because the school wouldn't be involved in something that wasn't, yet it was surreal.

2. I went to the student center at the college campus where the school is located to get a sandwich this week. Because I am such a klutz, I knocked over the milk for the coffee and it went everywhere. The sandwich maker came from behind the counter and comforted me by saying, "It's okay, Baby. It happens all of the time, Baby. Don't worry for a minute, Baby". I know some people don't like it when people call them Baby, but I do!

3. I sold more stuff on Ebay. I love it. However, in discussion about my new Ebay obsession, a friend at work told me that a friend of hers once sold used make-up on Ebay. Gross. And someone actually bought it!

4. Tonight, I will scrap with my friend Courtney, enjoy Margaritas, and watch Villanova play basketball. Go Nova!

MMMM....Salady

I had a delicious lunch today. I had left over taco salad. I was enjoying my lunch when I looked at my plate and realized something quite odd when one is enjoying a taco salad. There was not a piece of lettuce or greenery on my plate. Can this really be a salad if it lacks one of the main ingredients that make a salad a salad?

I think this depends on who you ask . If you asked my grandma, she'd say that a salad could be as simple as some green jello with carrots or if you ask one of my former co-workers in Iowa, they'd tell you a delicious salad can be as simple as some Kool-Whip, marshmallows, some fruit cocktail, and some crushed cookies on top. It's called Cookie Salad. Of course. I thought this was great growing up because we could have dessert as a salad. My aunt Sandy would make a jello salad with mandarin oranges or bananas. I loved it.

Growing up, taco salad was one of my favorite things that my mom would make. It would start with some crushed Dorito chips rather than lettuce. Top the Doritos with seasoned ground beef mixed with some kidney beans. Add shredded cheese and just for color, add some iceberg lettuce.

Not until my high school years did I even know that there were any other kinds of lettuce except for the iceberg variety. Now, I can enjoy spinach salad, Caesar salad, romaine, dandelion, and most other varieties. However, I still love a non-salad salad.

Going Postal

I really believe that my life is being taped for some amusing television show about a near thirtysomething who flounders through her daily duties and runs into mayhem at every task. I never see these things happening to other people when I am out and about in the world.

For example, I entered the post office and there was a line of six people. I didn't have to pay for postage because it was all set to go. I decided that I was going to place my package into the big, blue postal box. I walked over to it, looked at my box, looked at the blue door to postal freedom, and realized that my box would not fit. Without even a second passing by, the large (and let me add LOUD) man behind the counter started yelling,

"Ma'am! Ma'AM!! MA'AM!!!"

By the third MA'AM, I knew that he was screaming at me. I slowly turned around and he explained (and let me add, LOUDLY) that I needed to place my box on the counter because that blue box is only for letters. It was one of those situations where everyone in the post office was staring at me, a few with smiles. A few shaking their heads because I was taking up their postal time.

I walked up to the counter, head hung low for my shame was deep. As I walked toward the door, an elderly woman said,

"That will teach you."

I wish I was kidding, but I am glad she did because it makes my life so much funnier than if she would have said nothing. I smiled at her and agreed, lesson learned.

But You Already Knew That...

1. My husband: is a funny guy.

2. Never in my life: have I received a speeding ticket.

3. When I was five: I had three boyfriends.

4. High School is: a time to figure out who a fourth of you are...you have the rest of your life to figure out who the other three-quarters are.

5. My parents are: a model to follow on how to have a happy and long marriage.

6. I once met: a five year old who knew all of his states, capitals, nations, and capitals. Impressive.

7. There's this girl I know who: swears like a sailor.

8. Once, at a bar: I danced on the bar in a 1980's pink bridesmaid dress.

9. Last night: I watched the raunchy documentary The Aristocrats with Tim. He thought it was great. I thought it was kind of gross.

10. Next time I go to church: will probably be a wedding or a funeral.

11. When I turn my head left, I see: a map of the Napa Valley which I purchased and framed after our first trip.

12. When I turn my head right, I see: Tim trying to write his notes for Computational Chemistry, but he is getting distracted by Star Trek, The Next Generation.

13. How many days until my birthday?: 179

14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: surprised...I don't know my Shakespeare very well.

15. By this time next year: I will be in my thirties.

16. A better name for me would be: Sarah

17. I have a hard time understanding: Algebra and why people don't respond to emails.

18. If I ever go back to school I: will study educational administration or computers.

19. You know I like you if: I call you.

20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: my parents.

21. Take my advice: Stop taking a hands off approach to life. It doesn't just happen to you. You make it happen to you.

22. My ideal breakfast is: A McDonald's sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin

23. If you visit my hometown: You'll probably be cold and/or watch some hockey.

24. Why won't someone: Invent a lotion that will actually hydrate my uber-dry skin.

25. If you spend the night at my house: You'll be well fed.

26. I'd stop my wedding: If I didn't want to spend every day for the rest of my life with Tim...but I do, so I am married to Tim!

27. The world could do without: Cilantro.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: hear someone clip their fingernails.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: Oprah.

30. If I do anything well, it is: Bake.

31. And by the way: I didn't have much to write about tonight, so I did this completely narcissistic theme.

Knock It Off, Hollywood

Is NOTHING sacred?

I am sure that I have fumed about this Hollywood nonsense before, but why can't they leave well enough alone? Have they not learned lessons from Bewitched, Dukes of Hazard, and Beverly Hillbillies? I cannot believe that they are considering making DALLAS into a full feature movie. The names they are tossing around make it even worse because that J. Lo is ranked number two as my least favorite celebrity type and they think she can do justice to Sue Ellen. To think of it???

My fond memories of DALLAS range from sitting in our living room with my parents only understanding a quarter of what was actually happening on the television set. I didn't understand that Sue Ellen was a drunk and I didn't understand that JR was actually a total ass, but instead, I thought he was fantastic. He had that fun accent and wore those huge hats. Sue Ellen was beautiful and she had a lot of big hair. I liked that.

And even at the young age that I started viewing DALLAS I knew that Bobby was the handsome one. He had that big hair too that I enjoyed so much.

DALLAS had a bit of a renaissance for me during my junior year of college. TNT started airing the reruns every night and in order. I started watching this show again and would become very upset if I missed it. Tim and I would watch this show with his roommate, Josh. After the show, Tim would leave Josh and me to discuss the finer points of the evening's episode. We loved it like it was the first time. We could finally understand all the innuendo and smut that DALLAS had to offer, not just big haired Texans.

Mixin' It Up

Mandy over at Angel Flying offered a holiday mixed CD during the holiday season. Well, I am going to take that idea and run with it. I am in the process of creating a CD for the readers of The Midwestern Position. You should be rewarded for reading The Midwestern Position!

I am not sure who or what will be on this mix, but it will represent a nice mix of songs that matter to me for some reason or the other. All you have to do to get this mix is email me at saraleann76@yahoo.com and it will be yours. I will not stalk you or send you junk mail. Unless you want me to.

So, who's in?

We All Have Our Favorites

Why do we have favorites? After spending money on matching dishes, we always find a mug that doesn't match, doesn't fit. Usually, this mug has some touristy flavor to it or says something about you. In my case, I have a tie for favorite mug. The runner up is a rainbow painted mug that was given to me by a favorite chum, Jodi. I like this mug for sentimental reasons, but I also love it because it holds a lot of whatever I happen to be drinking. It is the quantity, not the quality. The quality is terrific, but it just holds so much stuff!

My favorite mug was given to me by a student. She had been my student for two years. She knew me pretty well in my professional role. She gave this mug to me for Christmas and was so proud of herself when she gave it to me. It said, "I'm In Charge Here". She cracked up laughing when she gave it to me. She said, "Isn't that funny? It's so true." Then, she just walked away. She was right. True and funny. I would be quite sad if Tim dropped this mug on the floor and broke it. I would be sad because I would not have that mug to remind me of that young girl. If it broke, would I still be in charge? Probably.

I have always had propensity for ranking items in my life from mugs to meats. I just like to line things up that way. I like to give them the rank that they deserve in my esteem. I used to have this sorority t-shirt that was my absolute favorite to wear for pajamas. It had fish on it and it was tie-dyed. Let me just say, that tie-dyed shirts are the best sleeping shirts. They are all stretched out and soft. This shirt now has some paint on it and has acquired a few holes, but I still love it. It still remains number one in the ranking of favorite t-shirts with my 1999 Newman Center Bike Race t-shirt a close second.

Brewing

Some relationships start with a drop and you know it will never end. As affairs go, my passion for coffee seems to have a very on and off again status. We spend time together in a very intense fashion…trying all sorts of new adventures. Latte. Cappuccinoo. Mochas. Black. Then, we decide to see other people…a cold fountain pop or a refreshing Mojito. Then, I always come back to a favorite coffee house or a simple Dunkin Doughnuts Hazelnut.

A friend of mine decided at age 35 that he would ‘give coffee a try’. Usually, people get hooked on coffee in their college years for the caffeine or the social aspect that coffee offers during those years when we all had time to have coffee for hours and hours. So, not being versed in the variety of coffees and ways to ingest nectar of the addicted, he went to a Starbucks and tried an Espresso.

Espresso.

That is like the crack of coffee. He should have started out with a mild Latte or Cappucino whereas that would be like the weed of the coffee world. Of course, he was turned off of coffee for probably another fifteen years. I wish I was there to help him choose a delicious treat with some whip cream or vanilla flavoring. Coffee can be good or it can be bad. But usually, it is good. I think a budding coffee drinker needs to be mentored into the brew club with the ease and gentleness that only an addict can offer.

8 Simple Truths

Truth #1
There is only one day in the purchase of a bunch of bananas when the bananas are perfectly ripe. The banana is yellow with only a few brown marks of ripeness.

Truth #2
Just because everyone else seems to think Radiohead is the greatest band from the last 15 years doesn't mean that I have to believe this.

Truth #3
No matter how long you have known a friend and how well you know this friend, she/he will surprise you.

Truth #4
No matter how lone you have known a friend and how well you know this friend, she/he will disappoint you.

Truth #5
The minute you realize that you need a haircut, it is the moment you also realize that you have no time for a haircut for at least one week, leaving you with a horrid head of hair.

Truth #6
Just because everyone else seems to think Barry Manilow is far from the greatest man in music doesn't mean that I have to believe this.

Truth #7
Some people can't see the forest through the trees.

Truth #8
Some people use cliches and rarely understand their full meanings.

Book Talk

I shocked my friend Jodi the other day. She was reading a book that I had agreed that I would read too. It was an easy read and I had no reason not to complete this book, but I simply abandoned the book for a variety of reasons. The main reason is that I found no connection to my own life in this book. I am not going to go into the title or justification behind this abandonment, but I just gave up. I couldn't get through it.

I guess, I am a quitter.

On the other hand, I am reading A Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion. This was a gift from my friend Amy. I love that Amy and I have gotten into this lovely habit of regifting books to each other. Isn't that such a great idea? Some people get attached to their books, but the more I love a book, the more likely I am to give away...usually to Amy. These books have been serious in nature like A Year of Magical Thinking to fascinating like Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. I think I gave her a ridiculous book of short stories once that had very little depth or meaning. She gave me my first David Sedaris book. She once bought me a book as we walked down a street in Philadelphia at a stoop sale.

I am at the point now where I have no business buying any new books. I have so many books that have remained unread. I am trying to decide between Pride and Prejudice since I just saw the new movie, but that might be a little ambitious. I just lose interest in classics, especially ones that I have seen a movie or heard the story. I will have to decide soon since I have a chapter or two left in the Didion book.

Time for an Update

Let me give you a quick update...

I Made Coin on Ebay!
Seems that someone in California did want to buy my stuff. I made a nice profit of $15 on my first Ebay sale. I am rather proud of myself for this latest venture into entrepreneurship. It has inspired me to sell again, but bids are not coming in quickly. This is actually one of my favorite sets of stamps and I will be sad if it doesn't do well for sentimental reasons. It's listed on the sidebar.

Kindergarten Frenzy!
I attended a kindergarten conference on Monday and Tuesday. I have been visiting a number of private schools in the area for observations. I have been meeting with a number of people to discuss kindergarten. These are all important and mentally draining. It inspires me to teach. I am so excited to have these little folks in my life.

Balmy in the East!
Today, it was 70 degrees. Can you believe that? It was fantastic. I walked home from work and was reminded of the months when I first moved here and would walk to and from work. The smells were the same. The sights were the same. I saw people walking up and down Lancaster Avenue coming in and out of the pubs. I saw lots of puppies and dogs on leashes. Although the sounds, sights, and smells were the same as August, I am not the same as I was in August. I am doing so well. I wasn't so well in August. I was so Iowa sick...I can't claim it as home sick since Iowa was not home either. I had gotten used to missing home (North Dakota), but I had to get used to missing Iowa. I still miss it, but I have started to build a life here in PA. Today was one of those days that I really liked where I live.

Blog Promise
I promise to update more often. I love my blog.

Spent

How can a person be so tired and so motivated in the same minute? I don't know the answer, but I know the feeling.

I have just finished two full days of kindergarten workshops so I am full of new teaching ideas. But, I am exhausted from driving and thinking and talking and listening and doing. I came home and started organizing and planning. Yes, kindergarten is far off, but I like to be prepared.

Stitched Up

Yesterday morning, Tim and I were waking up. He looked at me and asked, "Where did you get that scar on your arm?"

I was surprised that he did not already know the answer. I wish that I had a story of sandbox building gone amuck or some run in with a ferocious cat, but instead, it was a discolored mole that I had removed when I was a child.

As a child, you hear stories about stitches and broken arms and some part of me wanted stitches and broken bones like everyone else seemed to have. They'd have stories of falling off jungle gyms or broken glass. I had two little stitches for a lousy mole. I told him the story and he nodded and that was the end of the conversation.

What was wrong with me that I coveted stitches and broken bones. They seemed so glamorous to me. The rush to the hospital. The doctor. The cast. The crutches...ohhh...the crutches were my favorite. The classmates' names on the cast. The cut off cast to display in your bedroom for years to come. I had none of that. I was able to survive childhood without a single broken bone and only a few stitches.

The one piece of medical fuss happened in my friend Shelly's front yard. I was lying on the ground for some reason. All the kids from the neighborhood were in her front yard playing a favorite game, CHASE. I am not quite sure why I would be laying down, but I am sure it was for theatrical effect. Unfortunately, Robbie, a neighbor boy, knocked a bike down on top of my little head. It wasn't long until the blood was rushing from my head. I don't remember if I walked home alone or if a friend brought me, but I remember my mom and her two sisters crowding around me trying to see the wound. There was a lot of blood so they agreed that I was to go to the Emergency Room.

This was my chance. My dramatic medical story that I could share for years to come.

I remember two things from my time in the emergency room. The doctor could guess my favorite food of the time...macaroni and cheese. I thought this man was a genius. I couldn't believe it. Now, in my old age, I see that every eight year old's favorite food is macaroni and cheese. I also remember the disappointment I felt when I heard that I would only be receiving two stitches.

Two stitches.

It hardly seemed worth it. I wanted to return to the neighborhood with a story to tell about my 41 stitches. Maybe one of those bags with clear liquid.

As an adult, I am thankful for my unbroken bones and unstitched skin. I like to think that it is because of my graceful nature and common sense that I made it through childhood in one piece.

Buy My Stuff

I finally started selling on EBAY! I decided that I could do this and see what happens. I only have one item listed on EBAY, but I wanted to start small and see what kind of response I would get. This might shock some people out there, but I am trying to sell my rubber stamps. I have realized that I no longer rubber stamp as a craft or hobby. They take up a lot of space in my little apartment.

I had some good times with my rubber stamps, but it is time to share the love with my EBAY buyers. I hope someone wants to buy this set. I hope people want some well-loved stamps. I am a little nervous about this venture.