Saying NO to YES!

In my year of saying YES, I think I may have forgotten something.

In my rush and eagerness to embrace all of life's new challenges, I think I may have forgotten to say YES to myself and all that has made me ME for the last 36 years.  Normally, I find an obsession and spend lots of time exploring and researching that ONE topic - from fudge to pies to heel care.  However, I feel that right now I have my finger in lots of little pinch pots with very little room to explore or grow.  With so many new things happening, I have not really allowed myself to indulge in what I have loved all along.

We are always discussing the topic of "the real me" and I know that these things make up the ME that has been here and will be here when all my new hobbies and adventures are long gone.  These are not the deep and meaningful things like FAMILY or VALUES or MOTHERHOOD.  Those are givens.  I am talking about the tidbits and nuggets that make the quirk in all of us...and for this blog's purpose that bring out the quirk in ME.

Cable Television - I love it so much.  I am pinning for Mad Men and VEEP right now.  The commercials are such a tease.  Then, I mourn the ending of Girls.

Coffee - I hope I am not one of those people who have to cut back because they are getting old.  I like to tell myself that coffee is natural compared to all the other beverages I could be ingesting in large quantities.

Book Hopping - I am not one of those people who reads one book, cover to cover.  At any given time, I will have three or more books in a pile next to my bed.  The books vary in content and style, yet are of interest to me.  Right now, because of some additional responsibilities in my life (SAYING YES), I am finding less time to book hop.  I have a lot of HAVE to READ books.  I have never liked that.  Even as a junior high student, I would skim the HAVE to READS in order to read the books that I wanted to read.

Long Conversations with my Friends - This is the one that really gets me down.  In my pursuit of new adventures, I have had less time to foster my friendships.  This is unacceptable to me and cannot be a casualty of saying YES.  This deserves a NO.  I have a few months left of the responsibilities and then, life is back to normal.

itune ADD - I love to spend - at a minimum - an hour cruising down the itunes rabbit hole, never knowing who I will be listening to and later, be obsessing about.  I love that itunes.  I have not been able to fill up my iphone with fantastic new ear candy in a long time and that must come to an end.  Instead of saying YES to new things, I am going to say YES to old things!  Where is my trusty 2004 mini green ipod when you want it.

Recipes - I used to spend too many hours (an embarressing number of hours) researching a special recipe.  If it was ribs or apple pie, there were long hours put into the creation of a delicious meal at my house.  Now, I rely on old standards.  There is no fantasizing about the process.  No hemming and hawing over grocery stores.  Food is not joyful like it once was.  YES is getting in the way!

So, if saying YES means that I have to say NO to all that are the pieces of me, forget it.  Or at least, I don't HAVE to say YES if I am asked.  See, saying YES has taught me that much so far.

The Year of YES - Wine

I gave up wine eight years ago.  Tim and I were invited to a new colleague's home for a delicious gourmet meal.  The food was amazing so why wouldn't the wine be fantastic?  I drank a glass of something that was red and that is all I can recall because the worst migraine of my life set in shortly thereafter.  I recall telling Tim to drive fast because I thought I was going to die on the ride home.  I could not get into bed fast enough.  I could not be where there was any light.  I wanted to cry.

The only cure from this red wine was passing out in my bed until I could endure light again.  When I woke up I swore that I would never, NEVER drink wine again.


But wine is so darn classy, right?  It seems to put people off if you are at a party and you say 'no, thank you' when you are offered that classy glass of wine.  I have been told that I will learn to drink wine when I drink expensive enough wine.  I have been told that I am just not drinking the right wine.  And the be honest, I don't think I actually like the taste of red wine.

However, I decided that I was going to give it a go with white wine after being on the wagon for eight years ago.  Shockingly, I like it.  I also do not want to die after I drank it.  I started with a very, very small glass of Riesling.

So, I am embracing wine (white) in the year of YES.

40 Days

I have been thinking about creativity lately.  I have been reflecting on the moments in my life when I felt that I was creating and making and doing and considering the most.  Now, aside from making a baby, I have not engaged in my thoughtful considerations in the creative arts or otherwise.  Even books, I have been limited at best.

I think I need to streamline my time so that it is spent doing the things that feel the most fulfilling to me, not just the most distracting for me.  I could spend loads of time online with a ho-hum attitude.  I can dive down the rabbit hole of the internet only to find myself on Wikipedia exploring the Popes or the characters on Downton Abbey.  Neither of these activities are creative or time well spent.

So, back to the blog it is.  I am newly part-time Catholic since I teach at a Catholic school now.  All the talk has been focused on what we will be giving up for Lent.  However, I am going to take something up.  I am going to give blogging my whole-hearted try for forty days.  I am going to see if it is still in me to share my thoughts, interests, creative endeavors, and more.