Friday, April 29, 2005

Star Wars Stupid

I am Star Wars stupid.

Chewbacca. Tatooine. The Empire. Lightsabers. I just can't keep track of it.

I think it is the same problem that I have with Star Trek. They are not real words. They don't really exist. I just can't wrap my head around all the elements to Star Wars.

Sometimes I think it is because it is too complex. Sometimes I think it is because it is too simple and George Lucas is making it too complex. He takes a simple story about good and evil, love and war and throws in some messed up word like Mace Windu or Sith.

Even though I am impressed by the graphics and the visual spectacular that IS Star Wars, I want more story. I need more explanation. What is the Trade Federation and what are they trading? Why does Darth Vadar need the suit? Tim assures me that Darth's suit explanation will be revealed in this next movie, but I have been asking this question for over ten years.

A true fan would hate to watch the movies with me. All I do is ask questions because I get so darn confused. I am not a dumb person, but my mind just doesn't function well in fantasy land. Thankfully, Tim is a patient man who likes to tutor me in the ways of the force and the Rebellion.

So, as most people wait in excitement for the May 19th release of Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith, I am going through a remedial training session with rewatching Episode one and two, and the last three episodes so I will be ready for the movie.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

My Day in a Nutshell

CAUTION: I am not clever, funny, smart, or thoughtful in tonight's post.

I never read my horoscope because I don't buy into that kind of thing, but I stumbled upon mine tonight...very interesting.

This is what it said...

Your deepest emotional needs can come to the forefront with today's position of the planets. Your desire to have things balanced in your life might become upset by such emotional force, and it's important that you don't blame yourself when you feel out of whack. There are times when it's more important to feel your feelings than to have it all under control! You can make a point of eating healthy meals this week as a way of counteracting the upset you may feel.

I would say that some of it matches my day, except the eating healthy part.

All that being said, I am the type of person who never has a bad day. Never is a very long time.

Usually, I might have just an OK type day, but today, I will go out on a limb and say that I had a bad day. I like to be positive. I like to help people look at the brightside of life. I am the one people go to when they have had a 'rough one'. I love to smile and enjoy my day. Without talking too much about teaching and my life within the school walls, let's just say that it was stressful and I didn't smile too much from 12:00 on (with the exception when I think my kids finally 'got' mixed numbers and improper fractions).

I was on the verge of tears, not once, but twice. For those who know me, that is really something in itself. I have cried only twice at school. The first time occured when I had just received the phone call that my lovely, wonderful grandfather had passed away. The second occurring when I started to tell my friends at school that I would be moving and not teaching with them next year. Today, I was able to control myself with just one tear hanging within my eyelid and the all-powerful anti-crying prescription of looking at the ground and got myself back into "Super-Sara Professional Mode".

I think my tears came from helplessness. I want to help. I want to do the right thing. I want to do right by these children. When I feel helpless, I get emotional. There is nothing I can think of but fixing or helping these children until they are fixed or helped. Let's face it though...I can't fix them. I can help them. I can move on from today and realize that tomorrow is a new, fresh day that offers a new opportunity to serve them. Cheesy, but all too true. I am a relentless person that will stick with a situation with a child until that situation is no more (or I am no more).

Monday, April 25, 2005

Name Game

Want to waste at least 15 minutes? Try this. My answers are in bold.

YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother’s maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in): Sadud favorite!

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather’s first name):Cheese Robert

YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: (First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant):Whistle 2nd favorite!

EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: (Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot):Nutmeg Cancun

SOCIALITE ALIAS: (Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):Bun Grand Forks

“FLY GIRL/BOY” ALIAS (a la J. Lo): (First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name):S. Du

ICON ALIAS: (Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen):Syrup Tea

DETECTIVE ALIAS: (Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School):Panda Red River

BARFLY ALIAS: (Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink):Reese's Morgan

SOAP OPERA ALIAS: (Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived):Leann Cambridge...I used my college street since my street was a boring number!

ROCK STAR ALIAS: (Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician): MM DeGraw

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Sara vs. Miss Teen North Dakota

There are not a lot of options for an athletically challenged girl like myself, yet I found a secret talent that did entrench me in the sports-centered world of high school sports. My talent you ask?

I do a mean split jump!

Yes, with the right tarjectory, I am quite the cheerleader. With my split jump and the not-so-well hidden skill of a yelling voice, I became a high school boys basketball cheerleader my sophomore year of high school. Like most athletically challenged girls, I did not have a clue to the rules of basketball. Sure, I knew baskets were good. Other than that, I relied on my keen sense of observation. I watched the clock for the breaks when I would run with the rest of the squad to the center of the court and jump and yell to our choreographed routine. Other times, I watched our cheer captain for when she jumped. So, there I was, the one cheerleader who always jumped two seconds later than the other four girls.

My cheer captain didn't just understand the game of basketball, but she was Miss Teen North Dakota. Really. She was a full-blown, sash wearing, bikini loving beauty queen. The entire basketball season, she would harass me about a makeover. She'd say things like, "Maybe you should, like, do your hair?" Um...I did do my hair. Just because I didn't have humongous bangs and curls galore didn't mean that my sensible bob hair-do was not "done"!!!

Away games were the worst. Miss Teen North Dakota informed the sophomore cheerleaders that we were required to bake cookies for the players. Who was I? Their moms?! Because I didn't have a full-grown backbone until my senior year, I baked like a fool. I baked cookies and was livid when Miss Teen North Dakota showed up with one dozen store bought cookies. For some perspective, I baked over 60.

The bus gave Miss Teen North Dakota plenty of time to plan her attack on my hair and make-up. I was able to fend her off for most of the season, but the final assult occurred at an away game when she said, "If you don't like it, you can wash it off." When her masterpiece called my 16 year old face was complete, I looked like a two-bit who didn't know any better than to let a bully dressed up in a pagent sash practice finger painting on my face. Needless to say, I didn't have time to wash my face before the game.

Miss Teen North Dakota, whereever you are, I am glad to say that I still have a sensible hair-do, still wear some nice, neutral eyeshadows, and touch up my lips with some lovely gloss only when I remember.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Dinner Party

Dinner guests always make me nervous. Tonight, I have invited some people over for dinner, yet I am afraid that whatever I make, they will not enjoy. I am not a bad cook. I am a novice, yet I have my standards for the occasional dinner party. I am a much better baker than cook, but that doesn't help build my dinner party confidence.

If I have a dinner party, I want to make good and unique food. I can make a hotdish/casserole any night of the week so I wanted to make a great salad, side dish, and main course. I wanted to make a main course that wouldn't fail. Considering this, I also wanted to make something that most people would enjoy without going home with indigestion because of my spicy entree. On the other hand, I like to introduce new foods to people. I love taking food risks, but not everyone is like me. There I go again...being self-absorbed.

So, here is the menu. What do you think?

Drinks-Red Zinger Ice Tea (or water, wine...whatever they choose)
Salad-California Cafe inspired baby spinach with bacon, pecans, grapes, goat cheese with maple vinaigrette
Side Dish-Roasted Asparagus
Main Course-Lasagna

Now, don't you wish you were coming to my place tonight?

Friday, April 22, 2005

Going Out Tonight

I am writing this post half in the bag. In other words, half sauced. Without knowing it, I had too many drinks and I was saying and doing things that I know I will regret in the morning. And I am left in the lurge. Do I mention the silliness and rediculous things that I said tonight or do I sweep them under the rug. I cussed too much. I spoke the unspoken too much. The best part of tonight was the fact that I hung with my very fun co-workers and closed the night with Tim. We laughed and laughed and laughed. My stomach hurt so much by the end of the night that I thought I would have actually worked my abs. But no...I don't work.

As with any night, I feel that my digital camera is a great tool for remembering all of the fun. As I scroll through the photos, I realize that I am very intrusive and rediculous. At one point, I thought it a good idea to take a picture of a person and looking at it more closely, I realized that they were giving me the finger. What???? I couldn't believe it. I thought everyone liked me. I thought everyone enjoyed getting their picture taken by me. The following is a thematic list of photos that were taken tonight...(and for you people that had your pictures taken and are nervous about being revealed on my blog...relax...far too drunk to upload pictures):
  • photo of co-workers cleavage
  • photo of co-workers profile after his request to check out his hairline
  • photo of teacher from other school flicking me off
  • photo of my favorite people that I work with
  • photo of Pen-Pen talking, laughing, shouting
  • photo of friend thinking about how he might be in the doghouse with his wife
  • photo of co-workers modeling female sunglasses when he is very male

Man, I like going out with my pals.

*** I just woke up and seriously considered deleting this post, but whatever, I am just being honest.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Coffee Talk

Remember the days in college when you could call up a friend and say, "Hey! Let's go for a coffee." It was never a question, but rather a command. The coffee was always great, but it was the conversation that meant something.

The conversation always drifted into familiar themes of classes, parties, dating, roommates, or the all-too-uncertain future. We'd talk. And talk. And talk. I'd always leave feeling so satisfied. So connected. It is not that I don't have chums or fantastic conversations with them. I just want to be having these conversations with these friends in person, out of the work place, and not over the phone.

In my quarter and some life thus far, I have come to know that people run out of time to spend sitting and talking over coffee. Jobs, spouses, and children require more time with very little time for a nice chat. Although I am not neglected for conversation because I tend to force it on unsuspecting co-workers, I do long for the type of connections that were made over long talks and good coffee.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Target Girl

Is it just me, or can a trip to Target make everything right with the world?

No matter what you say, a trip to Wal-Mart or the grocery store just doesn't do the trick. Call me a discount store snob. I don't care because I am. Target is the only one for me.

The clutter-free aisles and brightly lit store help make my shopping experience a pleasureable one. When I enter the store, I always have a list, but because Target is so terrific, I know that I will come out of the store with one very self-absorbed item...maybe new lipstick, a smart belt, an aromatic pear flavored candle, or a hazelnut skim latte to go. Everything is better at Target. The gift bags are cuter. The greeting cards are more clever. The aisles are wider. And the have shopping baskets! Have you ever noticed that Wal-Mart does not have shopping baskets, only carts. They think they can fool me, but I am not the average shopper. Some nice, elderly lady who very kindly greeted me at Wal-Mart told me that they don't have them because they hope you'll buy more with the obtrusive wheeled cart. What they don't realize is that I might also knock down their rude toilet paper display that is directly in the center of the aisle because I have been forced to drive the cart. I've got their number!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

My Mental Hodgepodge

The following is a hodgepodge of the inner workings of my mind today...

  • I was exhausted to from teaching fractions. It is one of those things that children/adults either get or don't. Children who do not get fractions are very hard on themselves if they can't reduce to the simplest form. I really want to tell them that it is okay, most recipes already reduce for you, but they don't need to know that. For now, I will continue to teach fractions and be very tired. It'll take a lot out of you as a teacher.
  • It is perfectly normal to have poptarts for supper two nights in a row.
  • How long can I go without doing laundry?
  • Which online photo printing should I use? I have used Yahoo Photos, Snapfish, yet I was disappointed with Snapfish and want to try something different than Yahoo. Tonight, I am using Kodak. We'll see. I am all about the color and crispness of the photos.
  • Poptarts give me heartburn two nights in a row.
  • Should I rent or buy?

Monday, April 18, 2005

Midwestern Speak

I am glad that I can speak a little midwestern vernacular. Take this quiz and see your linguistic profile.

Your Linguistic Profile:

75% General American English

15% Upper Midwestern

5% Midwestern

5% Yankee

0% Dixie

New Fave

Feeling like something new and interesting to freshen up your Monday?

Listen to Rachael Yamagata. I enjoy "I'll Find a Way".

You'll have to enter the site and choose the listen option on the bottom of the screen.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

A Bit of a Rant

I hate the hands-off-approach to life.

It makes no sense to me. Why do people scratch their heads and ask themselves the obligatory question, "Why me? Why is this happening to me?". No, I am not all heartless and apathetic to victims of unfortunate events, yet at what point do people look in the mirror and accept some personal responsibility for the path on which they have choosen to travel?

Maybe it is too painful to look straight in the face of the person who made the poor decisions? Sometimes people cannot connect the dots and recognize that one action will lead to one consequence. Some people use the permission statement, "Well, I was just following my heart.". Whatever happened to common sense?

Mistakes are a part of a well-lived life. We should all mistakes, but is it so elusive of a concept to grasp that WE were the ones making the mistakes?

I am a harsh woman tonight. Don't mess.

I feel better that I got that off my chest.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


So, Brittany Spears is having a baby before I am. Hmmm. This really puts everything in perspective for me. Please sense the sarcasm.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Six Faces of Sara

"Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and the woman who is hidden" ---Erma Bombeck

I love it. I love this quote. I will assume that it applies to more women than just myself, but from the first time that I read this quote, I connected to it. With years of friendship under my belt, almost five years of marriage, and a lifetime of family, you would think that someone out there knows the whole me. They don't. They can't. I like to keep a little just for myself. However, I think it is possible that some people know parts of me.

The Counselor-People tell me stuff. I am not sure why. From a very early age, people felt that they could confide in me. I am not always a listener because I do share what I think on the certain situation. You know me...I was the girl who guys would call to tell me how much they were in love with my best friend. Or girls would call me and be sad about a boy. Now they are women calling being sad about a man. I still do my best to hand out sage advice laced with some hearty common sense. I have recently taken on this role in my school environment. My co-workers will come to me and ask for advice. I do my best, but I still feel like I am in no position to hand out advice with only five years of teaching under my belt, by no means a veteran. My advice come with no strings attached and no judgement when it is not followed. My best advice comes when I care about the person. My worst advice is when I think the situation is petty.

The Knee-Slapper-I love a good time. More importantly, I like to make people feel at ease and comfortable. I like to connect to people through humor and laughter. My best friends in the world have years of laughter and stories behind them. On the other hand, my newest friends seem to be bound to me through humor. I am never afraid to make myself the butt of the joke. I encourage pranks and jokes. Inside jokes can be the best as long as no one else knows they are inside. My first reaction when I fail at something is to laugh at myself. I like to say something like, "Boy, that was terrible, huh?" Then, I laugh. And I mean it. I think I might do anything for a laugh...either at myself or someone else. The other day in my classroom, we were discussing how pioneers used to burn buffalo chips for fires. When I asked the class if they knew what it meant, one student said, "Yes, poop." I burst out laughing. I couldn't help myself.

The Wannabee-The lifelong search for fullfillment is my quest (or curse). I hate to sound so dramatic, but there is just part of me that wants to be EXCELLENT at something. I really think that very few people in this world are EXCELLENT at something. Like many, I feel very mediocre at lots of things. I don't say that to put myself down...that is just how I feel. However, unlike many people, I am searching and trying new things everyday. I reach beyond that comfort zone and believe that I will find that something. Maybe it is teaching. Maybe it is something creative. Maybe it is cooking. I am not quite sure. And really, would I really want to find it at the young age of 28? Then, what would I spend the rest of my life doing? I would search no more. Part of the fun is the search and sometimes the failure. I want to be something, but I am not sure what that something is. All I know is that when I try and try and try.

The Memory Keeper-Maybe it is the music, the smell, the time of year, but my mind is in constant memory overdrive. It doesn't really matter how many years, months, days have passed, I just like to think of people. I think to remember funny stories, touching moments, and words that were passed between me and another. I know that I hold most things to heart a lot longer than most people. Whenever I smell Bath and Body Works Sun-Rippened Raspberry candles, I think of the semester that I had my own room at the sorority and how I missed so many of my friends. They were all very busy and I was not. Whenever I hear the Christmas song "Sleigh Ride", I think of the dance recital where we danced around in a circle like horses. My friends and I tell the same stories over and over and over. We laugh just as hard as we have always laughed. It sounds strange, but I just like to remember. It is not living in the past, just remembering it.

The Reactor-I jump to action like your favorite super hero! Something needs to be done, I'll do it. Something needs to be fixed, I'll fix it! I was always the girl in class that would answer the teacher's question because I felt bad that no one else was raising their hand. A perfect example is my ten year high school reunion. I jumped into Super Sara action a year and a half in advance to plan the reunion. I needed to make sure that it happened. A little self-absorbed/control-crazy for sure, but someone needs to do and it might as well be me. What I have come to understand is that people like it when I do things that they don't want to do. And if I don't mind doing it, I might as well do it. Confusing...I know. Then, there is the not-so-good part of being a reactor. I have a VERY sharp tongue. Just ask my eighth grade algebra teacher. I have the ability to bite someone with words so striking that I have made people cower in an emotional corner only to return after a very remorseful apology. It is terrible. I have been working on this over the years. I know that it hurts people and I try my best not to do this. So, being a reactor can be good and it can be bad.

The Thinker-Always. If a person looked at me, they might think they know what I am thinking, but they are probably dead wrong. I like to think of scenarios in my mind. Even now, I don't want to tell what I think about. All I know is that these thoughts are all mine. No one elses. They are not unhealthy thoughts, just my thoughts. I don't want to put them out there to be analyzed by anyone. I like to think just as much as I like to remember.

There it is. Even now, there are parts of me that I could share, but will wait because this is one long post. My longest since NYC.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Party Time

I want to go to a party. The following is a list of parties that I'd like to be invited to.

  1. Toga-I want to go to a fabric store and buy some kick-ass fabric and make a toga that would make Socrates proud. I would hope that people wouldn't just show up in some sheets from their bed.
  2. Disco Party-I have not worn my afro-wig for over two years and it is time to break it out.
  3. Battle/Dodge Ball Party-I would like to play some adult dodgeball. I think I have gotten over how my head used to be used as a target for a certain Amazon girl in my 8th grade gym class.
  4. Fondue Party-Of course. It is my new favorite thing. Maybe I should throw a fondue party?!
  5. Tiki Party-I want to wear a grass skirt and drink fruity drinks with umbrellas.
  6. Pajama Party-I think I might be a little old for this one, but it still sounds fun. Movies, popcorn, and makeovers...that sounds great!
  7. Bachelorette Party-Actually, I am throwing one of these with my good friend, Sara. This is the third bachelorette party that I have thrown. They have each had a theme like vintage bridesmaid to disco! We never do the traditional bachelorette party themes. So, I will be attending one of these in May.
  8. Graduation Party-They have the best food.

Saturday, April 09, 2005


I played the board game Clue tonight. They used the Vocabulary Word of the Week-Nefarious-to describe the goings on in the Clue house! And if I would not have tried to expand my own and my readers' vocabulary with Word of the Week, I would have been stumped over that word!

It's a Blogger's World

I have convinced three people to start blogs. Two of the three bloggers did not follow through on the blogging experience. HOORAY to Rachel for keeping up on her blog! As for the other two, well, I don't want to judge.

What I really, really want is for all of my friends to blog. I have advocated for this for a long time. I think there are many reasons why they do not blog.

1. They think they have nothing to write about. They think their life is boring.
WRONG! I will read it. This may shock you, but even my life can get boring. However, I never focus on the boring. I focus on the little things and share that with others. Everyone's life is a little boring.
2. They are afraid they will be judged.
This may be true, but you might be judged in a very positive light. You might be perceived as far more interesting and dynamic than you really are. And to assure you, I will not judge you for what you write.
3. They don't have time.
Hogwash. Everyone has time to document their daily existance and thoughts. When it is all said and done, wouldn't you like to think that you reflected on your life and the daily occurances within that life. It'll only take a minute. You also do not have to write everyday. I don't.
4. No one will read it.
BUNK! I will read it and read it faithfully everyday. I would like nothing better than to dive into someone else's day and thoughts. Also, if I dig you, I will link to your blog and then you will have more readers.

Please. I implore you. If you are my friend and you are reading this blog, extend yourself. Write.

Lately, I have discussed the idea of 'breaking out of our comfort zone' with a number of people. I want to do this more, but I also want to encourage my friends to do this.

Also, let me say that I know a lot of people lurk around on this blog which is absolutely FANTASTIC! Keep in mind that you can comment. Yes, you have to register with blogger, but they won't email you or bother you. It is just for the purpose of commenting.

Friday, April 08, 2005

A Good Friday

I played my first game of kickball for spring 2005. Man...I love my job.

Granted, I did lose my shoe at my first kick of the season. My shoe went flying into the air. I was wearing a jean skirt today so I was quite a sight trying to kick, get my shoe, and play a mean game of kickball.

And to make today even better, we fondued in my classroom! We read a non-fiction book about the history and making of chocolate. We discussed the different types of chocolate, tasted a variety of chocolate, and finally celebrated by dipping in chocolate. We dipped marshmallows, brownies, and bananas in chocolate. The kids loved it. I was so excited about the fondue and the kids having such a good time that I didn't even eat any fondue! I think it will be something that the kids will remember.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Grandma Taught Me That

My grandma Maxine passed away in November.

Over the years, I have gained some understanding and acceptance of the gifts that I have received from my Grandma Maxine. I felt a special connection to her since I was her only grand daughter out of nine grandchildren. The more I reflect on her life and the value she placed on the simple things, the more I come to realize how similar we are.

This weekend, my father and his siblings cleaned out her house and happened upon her journals. She kept a journal for over thirty years. The journal was not filled with emotional rants or torid events, but rather the simple and daily occurances of life on the farm. Stories of bails of hay and summer gardens peppered the pages.

Although I have not seen these journals, I can already imagine what they look and sound like because my grandmother was an exceptional letter writer. From the time I was very young, I corresponded with her through letters sent through the mail. She lived only two hours away, yet she felt that letter writing allowed for a thoughtful expression of herself. At her funeral, one of the things people said about Grandma Maxine was how she made you feel listened to and thought of through her letters. She was also an emotional woman. She did not fight back tears if they came. She recognized and reverred the preciousness in life. Keeping track and noting special events was a speciality of Grandma through not only her journal and letters, but also through her photo albums. Her photo albums were full of newspaper clippings of grandchildren and children. She organized her photos and clippings like a true scrapbooker by writing the names of people and places to remember for years and years. Again, it showed her appreciation for events, people, and effort given by those she loved.

Now, when I think about her, I come to understand our commonalities. My journal writing, and now blogging, has always given me an outlet for expression and clearification. I like nothing better to revisit my journals from high school and college and think about who I was then and where I have been. Although my letter writing has lessened since Grandma Maxine's death, I continue to write to friends and family. I email everyday to the ones that are important to me. I keep most emails, especially the ones that have something important to say or a thoughtful message of encouragement. I still write an occasional letter in the mail. I really should since that is what is left behind. I can imagine Grandma Maxine keeping every letter that I ever sent her from age six to twenty-eight.

My scrapbooks have become a place to document my life and the lives around me. I look forward to my old age when I can look back on these years and recall each special occasion like Grandma did with her photo albums.

Like Grandma, I feel that I have strength, yet can be emotional. Her arms were so strong that when she hugged you, you felt like you would never be let go. Although I save my tears for life's bigger moments, I feel, like Grandma, I revere the moments in life and recognize that they are happening everyday...the everyday, simple things. For Grandma, it was the bailing of hay. For me, it is a morning greeting to a friend or my phone calls to my parents. Each thing is special. Grandma taught me that.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Good Driver. Bad Driver?

Recently, I have been gaining myself a bit of a reputation. However, let me mount a defense for myself...

For years, I have prided myself on my excellent driving record. I would think there are not many 28 year old women that have never had a speeding ticket in addition to never even being pulled over for a warning.

Part of my good driving fortune comes from spending eight of my driving years in Grand Forks, North Dakota where the police officers have not varied their speeding dragnets for at least ten years. A police cruiser could be spotted in the local baseball diamond parking lot, parked along side of the university union, and waiting around the curve by the mall.

As for Interstate driving, I drive a reasonable speed that exceeds the maximum speed, but nothing that would attract the attention of a patrol officer.

Now that I live in Iowa, I respect and understand the two main drags that run through my little suburban town and always look to the left in the United Church of Christ parking lot when I take a trip to Target because, sure enough, the local fuzz is waiting for a target.

The only accident that I have ever had was in 1993 when I first got my driving license. I was driving home from my then boyfriend's house on a school night when a lady ran a red light when I was turning left and slammed into me. It was November in North Dakota so the streets were slick, slick, slick. My car did several spins with it finally resting near a light pole. Again...not my fault.

My friend Jodi says that she gets car sick when I drive. She says I am a 'jerky driver'. For the first time in my car, another colleague said that I was "practically in the guy's backseat" when referring to the car ahead of us. The icing on the cake came yesterday when my longtime friend Sara screamed, "Slowdown! Ahhh.....! My seatbelt locked!" I tried to assure her that I had the vehicle under control the whole time.

Maybe being a good driver means more than a lack of citations from the law. I think that I am very defensive when I drive, but maybe I am missing something. I was always the kid who parents allowed to drive when we were in high school because the parents believed that I was the responsible one. I am going with the theory that it has worked for me for 12 years and so I am sticking with my skills.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

April Fools Day

Pranks and capers are one of my specialities. It all began in college when my sorority sisters and myself stole/borrowed a remote control from a neighboring fraternity.

Normally, I was an atypical sorority girl, yet the pranks, the toilet papering, the tricks were excellent fun. We took the remote to many locations and would take a picture of it. The remote went to hockey games, restaurants, parties, class, the student union. Then, we would mail these pictures to the fraternity president. We thought we were very clever because they did not know who was sending these photos. The remote was always by itself.

On April Fools Day this year, my friend Jodi and I wanted to pull a few innocent pranks that would not get us fired. After some deliberation, we decided that our principal was our easiest target. First, he has a great sense of humor. Secondly, he has some quirks about him that make him an easy mark. He is a neat freak, he adores Harley Davidsons, and we had access to his office since we come to school at the crack of dawn and he does not. However, on the day before April Fools Day, he made the comment, "Well, Sara, I hope you will be professional tomorrow," when we were discuss a different prank that was to be pulled on a co-worker. I had no idea if he was serious which then made Jodi and I question whether he would be a good sport about our pranks. Either way, it did not derail our intentions of a memorable April Fools Day at school.

The first prank of the day was placing a fake 50 dollar bill in the hallway where all of the teachers walk in. Many fell for picking it up. Jodi and I just watched and laughed.

Before anyone arrived at school, we changed all the picture frames in his office with photos that I had taken throughout the week of staff members. He is a Mountain Dew drinker so we placed empty Mountain Dew cans in his personal fridge. Because of his neat freak tendencies, we switched around his desk. He placed his stuffed animals into compromising positions.

Finally, we had taken some photos during the week. One photo was of Jodi taking a bat to his truck. Ryan sitting at the principal's desk with his feet up relaxing. Another photo was of Ryan reading his email on the computer in his office. I was in a photo talking on his phone. I digitally added a simple black box over our eyes to make it appear that it was a mystery who these hooligans were. Obviously, a person could figure it out. We emailed him these photos during the day.

The last prank of the day was spontaneous. A few teachers were chatting with the principal about where we would be going for drinks after work. I spied his truck keys on his desk and made eye contact with Jodi and then the keys. She knew exactly what I was thinking. We asked the secretary to get the principal out of the office for a few minutes. We snuck through the conference room attached to his office and grabbed the keys. We ran outside and moved his truck. Then, when we were all leaving school to have some drinks and he had no idea where his truck went. He found it, but rode with us anyway.

My mind just works in the way that is meant to develop and think of pranks. I had to behave a little since it was my professional workplace, but I am thankful that I work in a school that enjoys laughter and a very professional way, of course.