Some Borders Love

There are lots of perks to working at Borders. Last night, I checked out the free promo shelf to find three Christmas CDs and a Susan Tedechi CD. Awesome and free. Along with free music, we were able to buy music, books, and other things at 40% this past weekend. So, in my Borders world, I get free music, good discounts, and hours of entertainment telling stories of customers. I am no longer a one trick pony with only magazine displays, but now I stock movies and music and prepare the new releases...I am more a four trick pony. I am working about 22 hours a week at the bookstore along with my preschool job. That is a little look inside my working life...anything else might be a little boring to read about.

Smut Update

What it is it about my personality that allows myself to become OBSESSED with television shows? Why can't I be normal and just enjoy a television show without knowing exactly what is going to happen from episode to episode? Is it normal to go online to read the episode guides of my new favorite show, Nip/Tuck, just like I did for Six Feet Under and The Sopranos and Arrested Development? I think it comes down to my aversion to surprises and my impatience for the next DVD to come in the mail.

I am waiting for disc 3, 4, and 5 for season one of Nip/Tuck. The show is so dirty. I love it. It is set in south Florida with lots of hedonism and twisted story lines. It is a soap opera, but with very conflicted and flawed characters. I think that a television show has to have interesting characters to keep me interested. This is why I turn away from most sitcoms and crime dramas on television right now...they focus too much on the plot rather than the characters.

My friend, Jodi, has been recommending Nip/Tuck for sometime to me and I have been too wrapped up in Arrested Development, Six Feet Under, or other shows. But now, I have to depend on other shows since Six Feet Under is finished and sadly, Arrested Development will be cancelled after this season (Stupid Fox Network). After I finish with Nip/Tuck, I am moving on to season one of Lost.

Today, I was standing in the back of the Borders preparing new releases and I spied Nip/Tuck DVDs. I wanted to buy them very badly, but decided to be patient for my smut.

Can't We All Be Nice to Each Other?

When I was teaching, I would hear my students use the phrase, "SHUT UP!" when they wanted a classmate to be quiet. I would always have a conversation with them where I would tell them that there are always two ways to say something...the nice way and the mean way. For example, if you say "SHUT UP!" or if you say, "Can you please be quiet?" The same response is going to happen except with the first, the person will be mad at you but be quiet and second, the person will just be quiet. This rule applies most of the time.

I would like to have this discussion with adults. Why do adults have such a hard time communicating in a respectful manner.

I know sororities have a bit of a bad reputation in this day and age, but I learned a lot by being in a sorority. I was not the typical sorority girl. I just really enjoyed living in a beautiful house with a great cook. I liked that there were always some social gathering to go to or girls to sit up late and have a chat. I could have done without a lot of things that were part of the sorority, but the greatest tool that I took from my four years in a sorority was how to learn, live, work, and communicate with a variety of personalities. When you have so many personalities, a person needs to learn a variety of communication styles in order to get from these people what I wanted or needed.

We always had weekly meetings at the sorority house where we took care of the 'business' of the week. At the end of a meeting, people could share issues, celebrations, or personal 'traumas' that were going on in their lives. Some women would go on and on screaming their heads off because they were mad about something or at somebody. This never seemed to solve any problem. I usually listened. I never could figure out why people would take a public forum or meeting to tell someone if they had a problem with them.

So, even at age 29 and no longer living in a sorority house, I see this kind of display of communication that yields nothing but frustration and anger. I understand that people get frustrated and what to vent their feelings, but for pete's sake, close the door and find a confidant. Or, even better, go up to that person and tell them what has been bothering you, but please wait until you have had sometime to think about it.

Are there different standards for conduct depending on the business we are in...family, retail, education, social...or can we just use one standard? Hopefully, a higher standard. I think I am at my best in a professional setting. I have always used a respectful manner when addressing any problems or issues, but like anyone, I can let my behavior slip and start to go off on someone...usually in my personal life. I know this was a bit high and mighty, but I just wanted to complain and reflect a little on this. It has been on my mind this week.

Blast Off

With a flush and a swirl, my toilet, like so many other toilets, does exactly what it should do with one exception...it sounds like it is a space shuttle ready for lift off.

This is a new development in our bathroom. It started out as a low hum after the prior mentioned flushing and swirling occurred. It is a combination of a rumble with a vibration. It gets louder and louder with each flush. When I am laying in bed and I hear the toilet flush, I later see the results of the flush...my wall begins to shake.

At first, I didn't really notice it because we have the R100 train in in our backyard and we've gotten quite used to that rumble, but this is a crescendo of a flush. Right near the end of the flushing cycle, I start to believe that the toilet might just explode. Maybe I should call someone about this.

Occupational Hazards

Ever heard of SCOOPER's WRIST?

I didn't think so.

Let's flashback to the summer of '95! You walk away from your high school job at the local ice cream shop only to feel a throbbing of your right wrist as you turn the radio knob on your sweet, sweet Chevy Celebrity. Holy Cow! The wrist is swollen like nobody's business! The best thing you can do is go home and ice it and hope it is recovered before tomorrow's mad ice cream rush.

I thought my occupational swelling was finished as I entered the teaching profession, but before I knew it, I was back in the retail world stocking magazines, hulling boxes, and ripping periodicals apart. If only OSHA knew about SCOOPER'S WRIST and now, what I like to refer to as MAG THUMB. My thumb has now taken on a swollen look because I use it at length to organize and hold back magazines as I organize them. After every shift, I feel my right thumb pulsate with pain. I think I need a new technique to adjust and organize the magazines. I was coloring with the crayons today at preschool, and I could feel my grip put a twinge in my thumb. UGH...MAG THUMB!

Again, Tim?

I don't think anyone wakes up and says, "Man, I am going to watch Grumpy Old Men tonight!" But, for whatever reason, that is exactly what I found Tim doing as I returned from work last night. I walked into the apartment and heard the familiar Tim laugh. I walked over to see a familiar, but unappealling movie on the television.

Tim and I continued to have a discussion that seems to repeat itself several times a month.

I asked, "Haven't you seen this movie, like, 100 times?"

Tim replied, "Well...yeah. But not for a very long time, especially unedited."

What this discussion implies is the vast contrast in movie pathologies between Tim and myself. First, Tim can watch a movie over and over and over and over. If it was anything Lord of the Rings related just multiply those overs by 10! His love of Clint Eastwood westerns are equally beloved...by Tim alone. Maybe it is because Tim is more selective than myself. I will watch many movies once. Tim will watch few many times.

If someone were to look at our movie collection, they would see science fiction, westerns, and dumb comedies. Because of this rewatching compulsion, I have refused to buy Tim certain movies for his birthday or Christmas...(true, he could go and buy them himself, but he won't.) If we own it, I will then be forced to at least listen to them from another room. Take Trains, Planes, and Automobiles for example. This movie is so annoying to me, but he LOVES it. He laughs every single time at the exact same parts.

Thank goodness, there are always new and inappropriately funny movies coming out so that both of our movie needs can be met...a new movie for me....sick and toilety humor for him.

Muffin Madness

I am just one of those people who notice life's little incidences.

About 5:30 last night, I decided to bake some lemon blueberry muffins. Sounds good, right? Well, I thought so. I had my kitchen completely clean...the way I like to start any cooking or baking endeavor. I had my music playing in the other room. I had my spiced cider candle burning. It was just the way I like it. Life was peaceful.

The muffin pan had the yellow wrappers all placed in a neat fashion. The batter was complete with the exception of the blueberries. I moved to the sink in case I dripped a little blueberry juice. I took a fork to finish opening the can of blueberries after the can opener did it's work. I must not have realized my strength because I flipped the top of the blueberry can off and it went flying across my clean kitchen. With purple drips all over the floor and counters, I scarcely noticed that my blue cardigan and white shirt was covered with blueberry juice. I went to my room to take off the sweater and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My face was COVERED in blueberry juice. I couldn't help but burst into laughter all by myself. I thought to myself, "These muffins better be good."

I returned to the kitchen to clean up and finish the muffins. I sat down after such 'commotion' to enjoy the messy peacefulness. And they were good.

Making My World

I feel more positive today than I have in a very long time. I think it is probably a number of things. First, I think I have gained some much needed perspective from my Iowa trip. I was able to see friends who I knew I had an important and lasting connection. It really affirmed for me the type of relationships that I have with them. Even though we are very far apart, it can be as fun and thoughtful as it has always been.

Lives go on. That is what I learned from my Iowa trip. People move on and grow on and keep walking forward with just a glance behind them once in awhile. That is what this weekend was.

My friend, Penny, gave me this magnet when I moved. It said, "Wherever you are, it is your friends who make your world..." This was never more true than right now. I would like to think that I make my world. So, that is my goal and wish, to make this world. I think from an outsider's view, it may seem like I have embraced this new surrounding with trips to NYC and constant crepes, but I think I need to dive in.

I have never been concerned about how this move would affect my family relationships because they are family. I can call them everyday and not worry if I am bothering them or misjudging the importance of that relationship. But with friends, it is different.

Next weekend, I will take my sixth and final PRAXIS exam to become licensed to teach in Pennsylvania. Although it is my final test, it is the beginning step to finding a job. This sort of thing really motivates me.

Iowa Revisited

I have returned from my trip to Iowa. It was fantastic from start to finish. First, I love Midwest Airlines. It was my first time flying with this airlines, but the free, warm, like homemade chocolate chip cookies that they serve to their fliers were delicious. They have first class seats throughout the plane including that nice extra leg space. We were running late out of Philadelphia so I had to run to my connection in Milwaukee. Normally, I only run when someone is chasing me, but it would have been terrible if I had missed this connection because it would mean that I was stuck in Milwaukee, and no one wants that. When I got on the plane, all of the other waiting fliers gave me a few dirty looks. I couldn't help it. I wanted to go to Des Moines just as much as the rest of them. But it was nice that they waited just for me.
Bright and early Friday morning, I met my friends Kelli and Jason at a midwestern favorite, The Village Inn. A haunt usually for the retired and the hungry. Waffles were enjoyed by all. This was the beginning of seeing my favorite friends in Iowa. I am an easy laugh, but I tend to laugh a lot with Jason. We talked about school, our lives, and all things in between. Jason gave me a shirt that says 'I Heart Pizza' but the word pizza is an actual picture of a slice of pizza. My friend Ryan is helping me model the sweet t-shirt. Thanks, Jason. I will wear it with pride.

The rest of my Friday in Iowa consisted of hanging with Kecia and Jodi. We drank some margaritas at a time that was close enough to noon and we did some shopping. I have yet to find a proper scrapbooking store in Philly so I loaded up on supplies from one of my two favorite stores, Archivers. We ended up that evening at Kecia's house where she hosted a party for Northwest, my former school. Lots of Northwest friends came to hang out. I was so happy to see people that I knew and they knew me. We stayed up late laughing and talking. Good times.

I'll just give you a bulleted list (my favorite kind of list) of the highlights from the weekend...
- Fountain Soda...a staple for Jodi and me.
- Taking turns sharing our favorite ways to hypothetically beat someone up...I like to hypothetically punch with my middle finger knuckles out and finish with a slap.
- Finding many inappropriate uses for leftover pumpkins and goards.
- Watching Jodi's husband practice his wrestling moves on Jodi.
- Eating Crab Rangoon since it is hard to find out east.
- Laughing so hard that my stomach hurt by the end of the weekend.

Iowa

I am leaving for Iowa tonight. I am thrilled.

So, I will return with lots of pictures and stories to share on Monday. Have a great weekend!

Way Back Wednesday

Shelly and I were like peas and carrots. We had a charmed childhood upbringing on our little street. At every moment of our childhood, there were at least five or more girls our age living in our neighborhood. We would always play with other girls in the neighborhood, but everyone 'knew'...Shelly and Sara are best friends. I would loan Shelly out to her friends Kristi or Kristi. She would loan me out to Kelly down on the other end of the street, but we would always return to each other to play.

Shelly wrote a shoutout to me on her Second Impressions. This is the second shoutout that I have received in blogland. It was quite special. Thanks, Shelly.

A Question

Lately, I have found myself asking this question...

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Do you know the answer?

Ghosts of Halloween Pasts

It is surprising that Halloween is not my favorite holiday with my penchant for costumes, but it just cannot compete with Christmas. Not to say that I have not enjoyed a Halloween costume a time or two. I have worn many that hold fond memories for me...some not so fond.

Raggedy Ann-As ninth graders, it might not have been the coolest costume idea, but my friend Janelle and I thought this would be a cute idea. I sewed two red yarn wigs, one with bows for me and a Raggedy Andy wig for Janelle. We were going to a Halloween party and it only seemed reasonable that we would go dressed as a pair because we were always 'quite a pair'. I think my boyfriend at the time was a nun at the party. Can you imagine that picture?

Clown-Normally, I think clowns are creepy, but I was a cute clown. My mom sewed some great costumes when we were little. She created an angel, Indian, and clown costumes with her sewing machine. I remember my mom drawing big, red circles on my cheeks so I would have a proper clown costume. I wore this costume for more than one year because I really liked it. Plus, I think she made it big enough to fit the required snowsuit for a North Dakota Halloween.

HoBo-I dressed as a residentially challenged person in the fourth grade. Why? I have no idea. I thought it would be fun to dress up in old, beat up clothes. The strange thing is that I was not the only HoBo in the class. I also remember that I got in some serious trouble right before the class party because I wrote a mean note to a girl classmate the way fourth grade girls do.

Greg Downer-Who is Greg Downer, you ask? Well, he was a man on our college campus who was famous for very few showers, lots of keg stands, wearing a Primo Beer shirt, and a pleather jacket straight from some 70's detective show. He was in a fraternity that was famous for throwing water balloons at women as they walked by the house or streaking the campus. We had a similar pleather jacket at the house, so, we thought it would be SOOOOO funny if this was my costume along with the Primo Beer shirt. I went two days dirty so I could get into character. Looking back, it isn't so funny. But still a good memory.

Mental Patient-The traditional high school dance would make most girls want to dress in something cute like a little flapper outfit or cowgirl, but I thought it would be funny if I dressed up like a mental patient and he could be my doctor. That is not normal. I wrapped an ACE bandage around my head and wore a hospital gown with the hospital booties for my feet. I think someone should have said something to me like, "Sara, can't you just be a witch." No one did. But that was also the year that my friend Marisa dressed as a Hugo's cashier when they still wore the polyester neon green and navy blue jumpsuits and her date dressed as the bagboy. So, I wasn't the only "creative" one.

Greatness Revealed

A friend of mine likes to buy GREATEST HITS CDs because it saves you the time and space that multiple CDs take up. I agree with him on many levels. Elton John's Greatest Hits CD that came out a few years ago is a great example of the GREATEST HITS CD. It has all of the familiar Elton songs in a terrific two disc set. The theory of the GREATEST HITS CD is that some people only like the songs that are on the radio and do not want all the B-Side types. The Beatles would be a hard one for me to buy anything other than the GREATEST HITS CDs. I like The Beatles, but I am not a diehard fan like some. It would cost a lot for me to try to collect all of The Beatles CDs.

Even though I love GREATEST HITS complilations, I also like to have all the CDs of certain artists...Sarah McLaughlin, Shawn Colvin, Indigo Girls, Fleetwood Mac, Van Morrison. I like almost every song they sing/write.

So, yesterday, I was preparing the new releases for Tuesday. I love this part of my job. I like to see the new CDs and movies that are coming out. It reminds me of artists that I need in my music collection. Yet, I was disturbed to my musical core yesterday when I pulled out the copies of NSYNC GREATEST HITS.

"What? Didn't they have something like three songs?" I mutter to myself in the back room where there is only myself to answer this rhetorical question.

Seriously, I think there should be a rule. One rule should be that the band/artist has to have at least twelve songs on the GREATEST HITS CD and every single one has to have been GREAT! Yes, GREAT is subjective, but you can use radio play, chart location, or singles sold as an indicator. You can't just throw on a random song from one of the three albums that NSYNC put out and claim it as GREAT just to fill an album.

In the same box, I pulled out Blink 182 GREATEST HITS.

"What? Didn't they have something like three songs?" I mutter to myself in the back room where there is only myself to answer this rhetorical question.

I get that I am not a bigwig at some music house, but give the public a little credit and who are these people that believe there is a HUGE market for a NSYNC GREATEST HITS CD. They should get fired. I understand a Bob Dylan, a Dolly Parton, and EVEN a Journey GREATEST HITS CD, but a Richard Marx, really???? Please.

Nasty Squirrels

Preschool projects require lots of preparation. Creativity seems to be needed for most of the preschool planning as well as the preparation. Yet, today, I was able to take a simple walk around my neighborhood to prepare for tomorrow's lesson. The students will be creating fall wreath collages with a variety of fall items.

I took my paper bag in hand, ipod in my pocket, and puffy vest to keep me cozy and I began my quest for colorful leaves and fall-like objects. Leaves were not a problem. We have so many varieties of trees in my neighborhood that I was able to collect an abundance of hues, yet nuts were the problem. Those greedy little squirrels have left none for the preschoolers. Yes, my negative bias toward the squirrel shows no sympathy for their fall task of gathering nuts for a cold winter. At one point, I had gathered two very large acorns and placed them in my sack. Little did I know, but I was being watched. With a scratch of the bark and a squeek of the squirrel, I was notified that three furry-taled animals were watching me. I can't say for sure, but I believe in my squirrel paranoid mind that they were letting me know that this was their territory and if I knew what was good for me, I'd go and fall hunt somewhere else.

Well, I am not one to mess with squirrels so I did exactly that. I walked in the other direction because the last thing I want today was to be attacked by nut hungry squirrels. Twigs, leaves, and pinecones were the loot I was able to gather. Preschoolers will have to be satisfied with that.

Grown Up Dreams

I am not sure why, but this idea of dreams keeps showing up in my conversations, readings, and thoughts in the past few days. Not the type of dreams that we have deep in a comfortable slumber, but the type where we plan, obsess, daydream, and achieve or, in most cases, abandon in time. The kind that begin somewhere between five-year-old dress up time or t-ball practice, mature throughout high school as we fill out college applications, and either progress into a life’s ambition or smolder out for a variety of reasons.

After thinking about this, I am starting to believe that dreams are a completely different thing than goals. Goals are the sanitized and tidy version of dreams. Goals can be achieved and followed with a step-by-step process. Dreams are a lot messier. Dreams seem to be the more selfish version of goals. Dreams revisit us throughout our lives when we feel that pang of sadness when we see a reminder of the dream that was lost.

I think I have achieved my professional dream of becoming a teacher, yet my dream has been going through a revision process lately with this year off of elementary school teaching. I guess, my new dream is to teach again. But there is more. I am the type of person who might have a dream, but has no idea what it is. All I know is that I want more. Not in a materialistic way, but more living. The only thing is that with dreams come sacrifice. I know about sacrifice, but I sometimes wonder how much I would be willing to sacrifice to achieve a dream. Then, I wonder, what will this dream yield me at the end of my life. Will I say to myself, "Man, I am glad that I gave up ______ so that I could ______". Or, the scarier conversation would be, "Man, I wish I hadn't given up ______ to have _______". I guess a person just has to hope for the best and trust their instincts. The problem is that most people fight their instincts. I know I do.

I know a few people who are perusing their dreams even though their dreams would be easily placed in the impossible or difficult box, but they are not being deterred no matter the struggle or bends in the road. This can be impressive, yet I sometimes wonder what drives these people.

I think I will focus on a personal dream rather than a professional dream right now. I have spent ten years working on the professional dream, I think I would like to have a personal dream come true. I wish I could tell you what that will be, but I don't even know it myself.

Four Year Old Affirmations

My life as a teacher is rarely mentioned in this blog for the simple reason that it has always been a difficult job where a person can keep personal and professional separate. This blog is my personal life. But...there can be exceptions.

There have been definite differences between teaching elementary school and teaching preschool. By fourth grade, students do not hug their teachers, sit in their laps...nor should they! They don't love singing songs in the classroom. They are just a different crowd. I love the fourth grade crowd though. I miss them.

However, there are parts of the preschool crowd that I dig. I like messy paint. I like puzzle making and block building. I love it when a male student loves wearing the bridal dress during playtime. I like the songs that we sing.

Today, I received some long awaited affirmation that I was doing this preschool thing well. A young girl stood in the middle of the room and said in a quiet voice, "Help."

I replied, "I will help you."

It was quiet as I zipped her zipper so she could leave for the day and she said, "Sara?"

I looked up from the zipper and she continued, "Sara, I like you."

I think that is all any of us want to hear on a daily basis.

Nicholas Sparks or Bust

I do not need much of an excuse to take the train into the city, but last night I was on a mission. For the lover of romance books, Nicholas Sparks is Shakespeare. With novels that follow themes like ' Love and Forgiveness', 'Love and Redemption', and 'New Love', many soft-hearted book lovers would make their way to Center City last night for their chance to meet and listen to Nicholas Sparks.

Although I am not a fan of romance novels, my mother adores Nicholas Sparks and waits patiently for each of his new novels to be published. I thought it would be terrific to venture to the Philadelphia Borders store to stand in line and get a book signed for my mother.

We arrived about thirty minute prior to the author speaking about his new book and his writing process. He was wandering around the crowd signing books, taking pictures, and making small talk. The crowd was about 100 people when we arrived. The majority of the crowd were women with piles of books in their arms, staring starry-eyed at the young author. At one point, a middle aged man right behind us told a friend over the phone, "He is very good-looking." I thought this was funny because it was the beginning of many women stating the same thing, but with different adjectives that varied from "hot" to "sexy". He just looked like a guy to me. I think it had something to do with the fact that these women adored this man because of the words he had written.

At one point, this elderly woman with her husband started pushing their way through the crowd. She made it to the front and raised her voice to say, "I just want to get a book signed. I don't want to get killed." I didn't notice any vicious looking women in this crowd or women threatening this old lady. I think she was just being dramatic. It was funny at the time though because people were very well behaved and even though she was the one being rude, she accused the very well behaved people of threatening her life.

Finally, I went through the line to have my one book signed for my mother. I said to Nicholas Sparks, "My mom is a big fan." He said to me, "Oh. You're not?"

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ummm.....

"Well, she really likes your books. She lives in North Dakota so I am here for her."

That seemed to make him feel better. I don't think he needs my affirmation, but if he does, he can go cry in a big bag of money.

Not Much to Say Today

I don't have much to say today. I guess, I want to draw your attention to my sidebar. There is lots to see, understand, and appreciate. First, let's take a look at the links. You have to do a few things to be placed on my links. I have to know you, read your blog, or think you are fantastic. One or all of the three can get you on the links. I have given shout outs to these links before, but today's shout out goes to my childhood friend, Shelly. She writes clever posts on Second Impressions. Maybe I think this because in 75% of the posts, I am a supporting character. Check her out.

Now, let's look at the obsession. Usually, this is music related but this week, it is caffeine related. As most know, I have a severe caffeine addiction that started back in my student teaching days when I was student teaching, taking two classes, and waitressing too. I was up to six Diet Cokes/Coffees in a day. Either will do. So, now, my friend Courtney and I have discovered The Gryphon coffee shop. It is so nice. My favorite dessert is the chocolate cake with cheesecake in the middle.

How about that quote?! I try to place quotes that express my thoughts, feelings, frustrations for the week. Some people think that quotes are a way for people to steal other's words. I think this blog illustrates that I have plenty of words. I just like other's words more.

My Amazon recommendation is a glimpse into what I dig. Right now, it is ABBA. A very guilty pleasure.

Well, have a great day. Tomorrow, I will have more to say.

It is Not Too Early

On Saturday, I walked into Bath and Body Works in the mall. I don't normally stop at this store, but I really enjoy their candles and needed to pick up a few. I am so glad that I did. It was beautiful in all of its commerical splendor. Whoever does their design and marketing earns their paycheck because it felt like December 25...even though it was more than two months away. The store literally sparkled. I still only bought the candle that I had intended on buying, but I spent time just walking around and enjoying the displays.

I will never be one of those people who complain how early Christmas starts. Maybe if I loved Halloween I would care how Christmas seems to steal it's thunder, but I encourage the hostile take over of orange and black by the sweeter green and red.

Christmas in October is lovely because it gets your mind working on all of the things I love about the season. I start thinking about Christmas cards, Christmas baking, everything Christmas. I never want to be accused of wishing time away, but I would like to extend the Christmas season into October and have everyone else embrace that idea. This happening is unlikely since Christmas for some is stressful and painful, yet I love everything about it. I try to hold off on the Christmas music until at least November, but Bath and Body Works did not.