My Golfing Secrets

Today, I start my fifth summer of golf.

I am the worst. Really. I am not just being self-deprecating here. No matter who joins our golfing group and no matter how many times they say my most hopeful of phrases, "This is my first time. I will be bad," they are always better than me.

I am not a competitive person, yet it just sucks to be so bad at something that you enjoy. I actually enjoy golf, yet am a miserable player. I think I like everything that goes along with the game of golf.

Golf is the only game that you don't have to run. You can have Diet Coke while you play the game. It is outside in a beautiful setting. It is a social game. I get to have a nice walk.

So, I am mentally preparing myself for some mild embaressment of hitting the ball onto a completely different fairway. Usually, some retired men in pastel colors just smile or shake their head at me. I smile and wave. Sometimes, I might even throw in a shrug of the shoulders.


I also do a lot of "self-talk". Here is my speech before I hit the ball...I am giving away all of my golfing secrets here.

"Okay, look at the ball. Bend your knees. Nice and easy.
Get under it."