Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Attachment Issues

Today I had an "OH MY GOD!" moment. I realized that I had two and a half months left in Iowa. Everytime I saw someone I enjoyed or cared about, I thought to myself, "OH MY GOD! I won't see you everyday!" No one could see the panic in my eyes, but it was there. A person could have been talking to me about something school related or non-school related and all I am thinking is "OH MY GOD!"

It really depends on the day. Sometimes I can hide my emotions very well. Sometimes I cannot. Today, I think I did. I just wish people would stop talking about it. I just wish people would help me live a little deeper in my Iowa-Lovin' denial. I am at my best when I am knee-deep in denial. Not really, I am being a tad dramatic.

It is not that I am the first person to leave great friends or that I am not excited for this move east, it is that I get a bit attached. People try to make me feel better with statements like, "Well, you will make new friends." I KNOW THAT! I make friends easily. What they should say instead is,"Well, no matter what, we will be friends." I want to keep my friends.

I am messed up. I don't know why I worry about this. Is this normal for people when they move away? Honestly, I am a well-adjusted woman who is confident and secure, yet what is going on with this mental hang-up? So, if you are my friend and your read this blog, please assure me that we are chums and we are cool and we are, like my fourth grade students say, friends to the end.

PS...I almost deleted this post. It makes sound to CRAZY.


Anonymous said...

We will be friends to the end. Relax and enjoy your summer of fun! JZ

Super Rachel Zana said...

It's normal Sara! I cried for 10 months straight while moving to Wisconsin . . . before and after the van transported my entire life across 2 states. But in the end, its OK. You'll still write, talk and visit your old friends, and they will be treated to doses of your wonderful personality on your lovely blog!

Rhiannon said...

That's the best part about our friends, Sara. We can not see each other for months and then when we do get together, it's like no time has passed at all. We'll still be friends and we'll still IM. And see each other when you're back in the Midwest.