Friday, February 23, 2007
I always thought that I lived out in the open and did not suppress anything, yet I find moments when I am left screaming "oh my god" in my mind when I start to remember teenage "tragic" moments in my life.
I was reading an article on CNN.com about binge eating. I got all the way through it and remembered this moment in high school when I was stumbling through my sophomore year. I remembered the hallway. I remembered what class I was heading to, Mrs. Stenseth's English class where I would soon be flirting with the nerdy boy who sat in front of me.
But I was stopped dead in my tracks by a girl from the school newspaper. Now, this was a girl who I respected and enjoyed in many settings. Rachel was an individual who was fantastic on so many levels. She said that she wanted to talk to me regarding a story that she was working. This was just another reason that I thought she was great. She tried to make the school newspaper something important.
So, the repressed memory...
She tells me that she was given my name when she told someone that she was writing about eating disorders. I was taken aback because I was far too chubby to be anorexic and I was not bulimic, so I was surprised. She continues by telling me that she was told that I was a binge/over eater.
Stunned. Offended. Confused.
Sure, I liked food. I enjoyed eating and talking about food. That has not changed. This was a cruel joke that someone was playing on me, right? Someone must have told Rachel this information knowing that she would search out a story and never consider that she was a pawn in the joke.
I didn't even ask who had told her. I just told her that I was not a binge eater and I couldn't help her with this angle.
I look back on this small moment in high school and feel thankful. I am thankful that I never spent much time on weight, eating, dieting, or any of that stuff that people deal with in high school. If this as traumatic as it gets regarding high school body image stuff, I got off lucky.
Posted by Sara at 4:07 PM