Sunday, February 25, 2007

Reasons to Honk That Horn

A person is not paying attention and swerves into your lane. Lay on that horn.

A friend is walking down the street and you want to a.) say hello to them and b.) embarrass them by making a scene with the horn. Give it the ol' multiple honks.

You are waiting for the red light to turn into the beloved green arrow, but the wiener in front of you is on the phone/eating snack/changing a diaper/solving the global warming problem and doesn't notice. Oh! But wait! They notice only after you BLOW the horn and only she gets to go through the light. Nice.

A car drives through the red light as you are pulling into the intersection. It is not like they are going to turn around. They are obviously in a hurry and cannot be bothered to assault you with their road rage. Plus, they are going in a completely different direction than you.

Horns can be a great stress reliever. Make sure you do it when no one else is around and be sure to scream at the same time. It doesn't make you crazy to do this. It helps keep you sane.


shelly said...

three things... 1) i like to deny it, but i do have a tendency toward horn-blowing... but only when absolutely necessary. 2) your quote is from my hero and soul sister, dorothy parker. when i grow up i am going to be her. i am watching "mrs parker and the vicious circle" as i type this. 3) i'm back.

Wes said...

Maybe this is why Mahattanites are crazy - most of us don't drive cars, so we don't have this very important way of blowing off steam. Sometimes if I'm crossing the street and a car drives through too close, I hit it or karate kick it. This elicits varied reactions - sometimes people are scared of me, but most of the time they freak out. The last time this happened, it was a gigantic stretched limo, and the limo driver stopped the car, got out, and did that thing where you move toward someone and hit your chest as if to say, "You want a piece of me!?" I told him to back of and give it a rest. Then I called the police. Road rage is healthy if you're inside a car. If you're a pedestrian, it can get you in trouble.