Thursday, December 08, 2005

How To Be a Good Friend

I have the greatest friends. I have had some of my friends since I was thirteen years old. Some, I have had for only a few months, but I dig them all. You know, not everyone is a good friend. It takes skills. Some people come by these skills naturally and some acquire them because a connection is made and a friendship develops. I think I am a good friend, but I can do a better job. Here are some goals and advice to us all. I will try not to be too preachy. And...a few pictures of my friends.

Shout of the day...FRIENDS!

Give. Not an easy task. People are eithers givers or they are takers. We don't want to admit to ourselves that we are takers, but we can all fit into that category a few times. I hope that I am more of a giver than a taker. I give my ear when a friend needs a listener. I give a cookie if they need a snack. I give them a call if they need me. Some people would call me a sucker for being a giver and not always being given to, but no one ends up at the end of their lives and say to their loved ones, "Man, I wish I would have taken more from the ones that I love."

Maintain. It seems that making friends is easy. It is the maintaining of relationship that is difficult. Before you know it, they can wither and that person no longer knows everything in your life. They have no idea about your family, job, or passions. You hear from them on birthdays and Christmas. And all you feel in your heart is that bittersweet pang that is telling you, "I wish I still knew her/him. I wish she/he was part of my life. She/He brought something special to my life." I think this is the hardest piece of friendship because we all get busy, but it yields everything you put into it.

Laugh. I want friends that make me laugh. We can laugh at old stories, people, ourselves, movies, and ideas. We can consider ourselves the most clever people that we have ever met. Our cheeks can hurt after talking to one another because we smiled too much...is that possible? I want to laugh about the time when you fell asleep with a McDonald's hamburger in your hand because you had too much to drink that night. I want to laugh at the stories you tell about your crazy and quirky childhood. I want to laugh about how you used to drive a Camero.

Connect. I don't think it has ever been easier than right at this moment to connect. With email, cell phones, and text messages, a friend can connect with a friend in a short but thoughtful way. Doesn't it feel good to get a phone call, email, or note? After you read this blog, send an email to a friend that you want to let know that you are thinking of them tonight.

Listen. Not only to the words being said, but the words that are left unsaid. Sometimes friends want to just be with a friend without all the talk. Sometimes they just need someone to listen to their problems, adventures, or ideas without always making about the other friend. There are moments in life where friends are strong and there are moments in life where friends are weak. Just be whatever that friend needs you to be.

1 comment:

Reddog said...

Sara-
You have all five of those skills which has made you a wonderful friend to me for so many years. I know I can call you for anything; no matter how big or small. Thanks for being such an awesome friend.
Sara