We've All Been There

10. Having to think long and hard about beverage choice. You can't drink milk because it will only make the phloem worse. You don't want to drink Diet Coke because it has no soothing qualities to it when you feel as though your throat has been ripped to shreds. Because your throat is ripped to shreds, the orange juice burns. Hot tea makes your mouth very dry. It leaves with water.

9. At some point, your teeth turn red from too many wild cherry menthol cough drops. I guess it isn't too bad. Now your teeth match the red in your eyes that has been caused by lack of sleep and that terrible dryness.

8. Something is terribly wrong when you prefer the smell of Vicks Vapor Rub to anything else in the world. You crave it only because your right nasal cavity is no longer functioning.

7. You find yourself holding onto your ear like you are an infant, but no matter how much pressure you place on that ear, it still hurts.

6. Every pair of pants that you pull out of the laundry hamper has a minimum of three tissues in the pockets. You are left feeling disgusted with yourself because you were too delirious to throw away the used ones...gross.

5. You find yourself wandering your apartment at 3 AM longing to find a sleeping spot that will allow for proper clearing of the right nostril, but also allow you to assume some horizontal position. It usually ends up being on the couch with two pillows propped up behind you and a small throw blanket as coverage. All this usually results in a terrible night's sleep.

4. You are sick but not that sick. You must go on living your life, going to work, doing errands, and all that comes with the life of a 29 year-old woman.

3. You have no interest in looking nice. Why look nice when you feel so terrible. So, you end up wearing an old, gray sweatshirt over a comfy, yet far beyond its prime shirt. Forget any cute shoes! It will be sneakers until this right nostril clears up.

2. Even though you want to eat that yummy looking snack, why bother...you can't taste it.

1. The sneezes. They come at a rate of four in minute which leaves you frozen, waiting for the next sneeze...looking ridiculous to everyone around you and at the conclusion of this display of nasal explosions, you are left with three used tissues in your pocket...gross.