Friday, July 16, 2004

The Karaoke Bill of Rights

A metaphor if I may...
Consider the karaoke bar as a fancy, new restaurant where you are not quite sure what to order. You've been planning on going to this fancy restaurant for sometime. You know that you love fancy food, but what fancy food should you order? What is the etiquette of this fancy restaurant? Are there any "unwritten" rules at this fancy restaurant? Okay...not that great of a metaphor, but they were never my thing. Anyway...this is exactly how I feel when I venture into a new karaoke establishment. To ease any anxiety about singing karaoke, my friends have come up with the Karaoke Rules or as I like to refer to them as The Karaoke Bill of Rights.

Karaoke Bill of Rights

You have the right to a solo. No matter how scared or nervous you are, a solo is liberating.

You have the right to sing a ballad. Chicago, Celine Dion, or Phil Collins would be proud.

You have the right to take yourself too seriously at the risk of being laughed is okay though if you get laughed at, it only means that karaoke is no joke to you.

You have the right to sing along even if you don't have a microphone in your hand. Just because some drunk girl thinks it is a good idea to sing to the Dixie Chicks doesn't mean that she is the ONLY Dixie Chick in the room.

You have the right to a SUICIDE karaoke song...let a friend or DJ pick the song and you just do your best. This is for brave and sometimes experienced karaoke singers.

You have the right to hog the karaoke. It is not your fault if no one else can think of a song to sing and you have already sung five songs in a row.

You have the right to just yell your karaoke song, but beware! You might be given some disapproving looks.

You have the right to give up if the chorus of a song just keeps going and going like Elvis Presley's Suspicious Minds...great song, long song.

You have the right to bargain with the karaoke DJ to get your song on...they are just happy that you want to sing usually. This means they don't have to sing.

You have the right to think and sing like you are the greatest Motown singer since Aretha...I know I do. Posted by Hello

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