Tuesday, August 23, 2005

The Men of the PA Libraries...A Rare Breed

Even though I have been thankful for the library's email availability, it definately comes at a price. It never fails. No matter which library I go to, I end up sitting by someone who creeps me out or simply amuses me.

I am not sexist, but so far, they have all been men.
  • The Talker-he visits with the screen. He reads outloud what he is reading on the screen. He might even do a little yell, 'YES!' when he discovers something or needs to affirm his internet searching skills. Maybe he just received great news like his new Dungeon and Dragons action figures that he bid on on Ebay will arrive tomorrow.
  • The Noise Maker-he makes noises. No particular words come out of him, just sounds. A hum here or there. Maybe a moan. Sometimes a hiss. I don't even want to imagine what he could be looking at.
  • The Frantic One-he is the man that runs into the computer lab and walks frantically around the computers to find an open one. He very vocally breathes a sigh of relief when he finds one. He plops down and assures the person next to him that, "It'll all be okay. I found one." I am not kidding with that quote. I actually saw this go down.
  • The Stinky One-he doesn't smell good. He smells very bad. Maybe he forgot to brush his teeth and he has a cold so he is breathing with his mouth open. But just as you can't get over the stink, another man sits to your left and he smells even worse. A stink sandwich if you will...this is the worst.
  • The E-vesdropper-he likes to read my emails. He is waiting for something to load and he is moving ever so slowly to his right in order to read the facinating email from my friends. He even takes a second to look me right in the eye and smile when he gets to a funny part. I like to give him my, 'You've got to be kidding' face. That usually does the trick.
  • The Grossest-he digs in his ear and then types. He rubs his nose and then types. He picks his teeth and THEN TYPES! Disgusting. This more than any other behavior affirms my need for internet at home!


ellie said...

The funny thing about this is those characters easily fit my ex co-workers, to a tee.

I hope your internet is up an running before you know it!

Dree said...

I sat next to an e-vesdropped in computer class last semester. SO annoying!!

Rhiannon said...

Ugh, yuck. I laughed out loud at the last one (as I dug in my ear and typed on my keyboard - hey you can do that at home!) Just for those who don't know me - I'm kidding.

Anonymous said...

I think the next time one of those people sits next to you, you should give them the finger. They're probably used to it being they live on the East coast.

zeliphias said...

haha wow im guilty of this once or twice. I think this is how the men think. 1. that you are attractive. 2. that there is an open seat next to you 3. that you are moderatly alone but in a public place, so its ok to meet you espeicaly if your available. 4.That since the seat is open and your at least somewhat attractive, its ok to sit next to you, if you go to the library on a regular basis notice if its not the same person over and over, and if you want to have them leave you alone, just get one of your guy friends to dress up in his suit and tie and leather jacket, roll up with his mercadies benz, and come over to you with one of those leather back packs that could carry a lap top computer, have him say to you how you doin hun, and come in close to your face, he wont have to kiss you, any man looking at you at that point will have turned their head in frustration thinking you are taken and they have got nothing on mr.perfect . but,us men think its ok to begin "single serving" relationships, i go to the internet say, and see a hot chika i sit next to her, glance at her a few times, if i make noise its because i want her to look at me, then i can turn and smile at her, writing off my noise as just habit. If you make noise too then ill talk to you, ill say hi, at least. but the look is a good deterant.